Vicky's Wedding

Oops, I was brought to the state to sing a song by Vicky...














Very frightened, I made Vicky sing instead...

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In Chinese Wedding, it is a norm to play some silly games so to provide entertainment to the guests. I believe you would understand what I mean if you have watched Ang Lee's "the wedding banquet". Or if you are my faithful blog reader, the pictures from my cousin's wedding from last Christmas could also be the evidence.

I have seen very brutal games, such as making the bride move a raw egg inside the gloom's trousers, entering from leg and coming out from the other. The egg should come out intact. The higher level is to make her do it without hands!

Vicky had everythng under her control, I mean, she plans the entertainments herself, letting no chance for the guests to come up with any surprises. She even reversed the roles playing, gave out red envelope (with small notes in it) for those lucky guests to pick. But the guest had to perform, according to the instruction in the back of the envelope. I won my 20 RMB with great difficulty.

The foods were served in very different fashion than that in Taiwan. All foods from the appetisers to desserts almost came at the same time, the plates leveled with each other. I think it is more to show the abundance of foods rather than the taste of them.

Where would you sit

If taking a cab ride by yourself? I found another odd thing about Beijing is that many choose to sit next to the cab driver instead the back seat. Even girls do that. That's very puzzling... I thought the passenger side's seat is the worse seat if riding a cab along.

My Brain is Empty, too much Agatha Christie

We went for an easy hike on Sunday. The Xiang Mountain in the west end of Beijing city. The weather was much better than last time Alvaro and I went. We also picked the easy route instead of the 2,500 steps uphill trail.

However, the crowd was so unbearable. There were people everywhere, it is more crowded then the city center. We had to climb the 3-meter high wall and sneaked out to the other side of the wall (the park was fenced by the wall) in order to escape the madness.
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I like to observe those successful people. In my definition of being successful, they are happy about what they do, do it very well and the monetary reward comes as if that's something they didn't expect to get initially.

They are usually crazy, in a way, they are almost paranoid about their theories, ideas or right doing. unmeasurably confident, and consequently, very influential. The bit of craziness is not easily seen in many (I think the craziness is sometimes driven by deep unsatisfaction about what they are or what they are in). Once the craziness has taken them a step forward, they become more and more confident in their abnormality. Gee, the wheel start rolling....

Got to have passion, without passion, they look/act almost like a fool.

Return of Joey Liao

Wait, something is missing.....










Jen is missing! Jen is so busy growing protein in her lab but found a copy of Jen's Canadian citizenship card, so to bring it with us in our pajama party.

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Going back to Toronto after 5 years is such a thrill to me. Everything looks so familiar yet so distant. I still remembered my way around town, however, not the restaurants. I didn't have much luck eating my way around town until my aunt came to my rescue. She knows all the good Chinese restaurants in uptown, she even remember what to order and what not to order in every single one of them.

All my cousins have grown into young women, I still remember them as they were 12 years old. Nevertheless, they both look 12 years old. I was so shocked to realise Sandy has a boy friend (we had DimSum together, but I didn't give him a hard time, good Joey). However, Jennifer pays more attention to the protein then boys (quite a few of broken hearts).

Sandy obviously has a wider social circle. She has a friend who complains about everything in Toronto is mediocre, she claimed, even the scandals between politician are mediocre. I think there is nothing wrong of being average, I was just wondering how the hell I survived in Toronto before. Sandy takes the double majors in literature and biology. She works in the school newspaper as an editor. A very happy kid.

Those are 2 of my favorite Chinese who don't speak or write Chinese.

Hastenly Spken English

It is very interesting to listen to people talk in Kuala Lumpur. They rarely finish a whole sentense. The receipiant would always interpolate and acknowlege. Communication without full communication seems like a culture. It is almost natural not to express yourself fully.

The rapid rythm of speaking accentuate this impatient movement in conversation. You almost feel you are stupid if wanting to finish a statement with clear pronouciation and normal tempo.

Revenge of a Panda

Gu Gu, the panda in Beijing Zoo. Of course, Gu Gu is much bigger than this now
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The drunk Chinese guy felt the urge to hug Gu Gu, the Panda. He jumped into the panda enclosure and got bitten by Gu Gu in his left leg.
Don't hug anything you think cute.

Fear of Money

I went through the horrifying experience of wiring money out of China. It is not possible for foreigners to buy dollars with Chinese Yuan, unless you can provide 5 various types of documents to prove that your Yuan deposit comes from a earning, paid by a foriegn company. I then asked help from my Aussie colleague who needs to convert the dollars to Yuan.

I know the exchange rate is less than 8. I said I should buy the dollars with this exchange rate. She suggested otherwise but I declined her offer as the token of my gratitue. I then went to check the real exchange rate and found that I am losing almost 100 dollars in this deal. If I should be cool not to care about this? But that's a lot of money! I went to her, fully embarrassed and expressed my will to adjust the exchange rate. I felt like a complete idiot! Luckily for me, she didn't mind at all.

Man, this is really a good lesson for me. I guess sometimes I am too eager to express a good will money-wise. Nevertheless, I sometimes find myself being trapped in a very ackward situation by my not-at-the-right-time-and-right-place generosity. Perhaps I should just smile and geniunly say "thank you very much". And find some other opportunity to repay the favor. I am just too impatient.

With USD cash in hand, I was so shocked to realise that I can only deposit and wire 5,000 dollars maximum a day.

Clipping Nails in Public

This is one of the most untoleratable thing for me. I cannot figure out why people can clip their nails in the train, in the office, in the book store or in a coffee shop. One clip after another, each crispy sound cuts through the air almost creating a paper-cut like sensation on my skin. I cannot explain exactly why it is so getting on my nerve. Clipping nails is supposed to be very private thing to do?

What do Girls Talk About?

Girls talk about boy friends at their early twenties. The girl gang I hang out with now talk about wedding bangquets, marriage life and then, inevitably, babies. The shocking piece of information Grace told me is that we will be talking about extra-marital affair (wether it is his or hers) in about 5 years time.

Washing Up After Number 2?

Poor Nir lost his racksack in a half-baked taxi ride (he was driven off the cab because the taxi driver wouldn't understand where he wanted to go and he forgot to take his racksack with him, ha ha). This is the second week of Nir's miserable stay in Beijing.
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When I was little, we had guests from Malaysia, Indonisia or Thai. Those were my father's relatives and for some reasons they all came to stay with us when visiting Taipei. Of course, they were all telling us how the natives in those far away countries clean themselves with the right hands and eat with the left hands.

I finally came to understand this is one of the muslim's behaviors. In Kuala Lumur, every toilet stall, regardless it is the squatter or wester style toilet) is equiped with a seperate host, well, I guess, people use it to clean the rearends. The floor is constantly wet, and cleaning ladies linger in the bathroom to mop dry the floor.

In Kuala Lumpur, you can see the amazing concoction of people with different ethinical origin and religions. Malays, Chinese and Indians all speak each other's language, eat each other's traditional foods and work side by side.

Acceptance

I am preparing for a job assignment in Kuala Lumper next week, and just started to read loads of documents compiled by other consultants.

As reading a 26-page doc, I gradually lost patience to comprehand the passage toward the end. I am not panicking at all, which I might get angry with myself few years ago. I am taking it easy because I understand I have to read it again later on. What's the big deal I couldn't get through it the first time? It might not seen efficient but that works very well for me.

Exploring the Difference

I spoil myself a massage treat every weekend. I always ask for girls and, interestingly, I manage to get a new massues every time. Could it be because the turn over is high or it simply because they have a mass number of massues waiting for work?

Anyhow, although they are all very well trained (not only they can all accurately massage the "chi" point in your body but also their techniques are almost identical), you can still feel the subtle difference. It is almost exciting to explore different massage styles. I must be mad.

GuanXi 201

I was reading another book, describing China as a big secret society. During the small agriculture society, there is limit room for GuanXi to develop because people are quite self sustainable. However, when the economic has grown to certain scale, supply/demand driving market is not yet mature and the government has not yet developed an efficient way to liquidify goods/labor, GuanXi is almost the only way to survival.

The book has taken the GuanXi analysis into a second level. We all know that connection is a big part of success, success in making business, getting good jobs, receiving a proper medical attention or sending your kids to the right schools. I think this is true every part of this planet. Chinese world has used it to an extreme, is that all?

The secret social analogy the author has proposed is quite illuminating. In a secret society, honesty and honor are the pillars to build a name. With a name, you can borrow trust, friends, women and wealth without any tangible collaterals. But you put your name on the line. However, chances are you don't need to return those. Being driven by the desire to become somebody, people start to boast, bluff, vainity follows (quite well explain Modern China).

The way GuanXi is built up is quite like an art. It is constructed on top of favor debts. The timing to return the favor and the amount to return are both very critical. The various concoction send different messages to the creditor. For example, if you return it immediately with the equal value, that means you do not want to build up a GuanXi with the creditor. Normally you don't return the favor in equal value, which indicates you and the creditor is merely doing a deal (absolutely not acceptable by Chinese). Taking some time to return the debt tells the creditor that you truely accept his help and geniunly grateful. This might not seem clear cut if this returning goes around several times. However, that was intended effect. The two persons involved know clearly who owns what and how much. GuanXi is then nurished and grown.

Clean Aired Beijing

We had the unexceptional good weather in Beijing this past weekend. The sky is so clear that I can see some mountains miles away from my bedroom windows. The temperature is just about right, even a bit chilly at early morning and evening. I couldn't resist the temptation to go out cycling on the big streets at night. Chang'an road lies between the Forbidden city and Tianmen squre is really huge, riding really fast pass Forbidden city is really fun.

On my way back, I rode past the Beijing Friendship store, which was the only store open to foriegners before 80's. I recalled a story about the saleswoman who was so irritated by a customer who merely asked her a question. They quarelled and the saleswoman was so angry (I don't know why) that she hit the customer on the head with the ice cream bucket. The customer ran and she started chasing him because she wanted to hit him on the back as well.

Don't ask me why those women who work for the state-owned business are so obnoxious to customers. They never laugh and seem to hate everyone. Of course I have met some friendly and nice saleswomen. But very few.

Mirror and Inspiration?

My four new friends. They are really cool in cleaning the strangely stubborn stains in the kitchen and bathroom. I am really wondering how people in the past survive without those chemicals?

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The Beijing project has come to an end and I bid the 8 to 10 working hour fairwell this week. I went home around 7 and didn't know what to do really. Really fancy a drink or 2, talking nonsense but find no local drinking partners.

I was really thrilled to go to a pub with a colleague, who just came to Beijing the first time for this project. We went to the pub I have been to several times, a terrace on top of a 5 story building. Not until we reached the top then I realised I managed to walk into the wrong entrance (they look identical, I swear). The pub was nice anyway (plus no one wanted to walk the 5 flights of stairs again) so we stayed.

I didn't realise anything wrong but, after a while, my colleague pointed out that there are quite a few male couples sitting very closely, chatting in very low voice. Then I noticed the bartenders are very femanine looking and extraordinarily nice. I mean, I am OK with it but the mosquitos were really annoying.

As I was talking to my colleague, I mean, I come to realise why some of my ex-colleagues didn't hang out much with people from the office. I was holding back and thought to myself, wow, I was really outspoken in the past. So, being mature means that you know the way to have a pleasant conversation and have fun without giving away too much of yourself?

The Ape in the Corner Office

Ok, Claire didn't give "Blink" a lot of credit, but I still think it is very fascinating. Indeed, "Blink" is talking about a lot of common sense, however, it is very helpful to some slow-nerved people like me. I guess it is due to my choice of career, I didn't get to deal with people on daily basis. Also, there has not been too much office politics falling upon me (good or bad?), I consider myself very slow in face reading. I am now staring at people's face more. However, interestingly that you can sometimes feel easy when talking and looking into the conversation partner's eyes yet sometimes uneasy.

In my retrospect, I don't think it has anything to do with power or ranking, it has more to do with personality clicking. I guess I unconsciously decide the tone, the voice and the mood of the conversation 2 seconds I meet with a person. Of course, if I feel the partner is ready to accept me, the whole process is going to be more fun. Eye contact is so crucial in expressing the green light. Once the trusty bonding builds up, ideas and coversations flows both ways.

But I did mis-interpret quite a few people before. I think that is because I didn't know myself well enough and, consequently, I didn't know the impact I have on people. Well we should feel grateful that this situation is only going to get better as experience accumulated, perhaps that's the only upside of getting old.

Another very interesting book by Richard Conniff, "The Ape in the Corner Office". The way we behave is really not too far away from Chimps...

Old Chinese saying goes "Even dogs dislike the 2 years old".

XiaoHo's first experience on Train. My mom and XiaoHo accompanied me to Hualian to visit Claire, who was transfered to the small town from Taipei a year ago.
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The journey itself was very fun. In Taipei train station, I was carrying the trolly, a bag for XiaoHo's food and cloth, my own backpack. Just imagine how you can carrythe folded buggie, try hard not to let the wheels stain your light colour trousers, carry 2 bags, keep an eye on the kid (and my mom who is holding him) and go up/down the stairway. My mom managed to find me some food to take on the train, otherwise I would be eating all XiaoHo's crackers and complain non stop.

It is impossible to read at all. I was reading an very interesting book about Finland. But XiaoHo interrupted my supposingly quiet, intellectual reading every 2 minutes. Getting all my mom's attention is not enough for him, he also wanted mine (How Greedy)! The situation got better after I threatened that I am going to send him over to the train manager.

I have to say something about our train manager, with whom after you meet, you would think there is still some hope in this country. He was a middle age man with bright teeth, thin and meticulous dressed. He bowed to the air when entering and spoke with gentle voice to ask for checking our tickets. He had the perfect manner and authority as a train manager. As I spoke to him, XiaoHo held my mom tight and hid his face in between her neck and shoulder. COWARD!

I am not saying Chinese way of running a state owned business or working for such business is not good, it is sometimes more interesting (Yeah, the Firefighter's wife said that she once met a train manager who was so relax that he slept on the train and share the lunch box with her group). However, it was really a great delight to see someone respects his profession, his passengers and himself so truely.

Hair Disaster Again

The moment I set foot into my home in Taipei, my mom was scrutinising my hair... And then Grace came up immediately with her hair cutting kit. I was brave enough to give my consent to let her cut my hair. The day after, I realised the back of my hair was not even and that really bothers me. So my mom did it again with the thining scissors and started trimming the back. I really started to worry when she commented "wow, the scissors are amazing, no matter how randomly I cut the hair, nothing truns too disastrous".

I ran to the hair dressor on Monday. She looked at my hair and said diplomatically "well, maybe you should not try to solve a problem all by yourself".

This is the fifth hair style over these 2 months.
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During my vacation, I decided to make the effort to re-connect with my friends. I called everyone on my phone list and see if we can arrange a time to meet up. Almost all of them made the effort to come out and play.

It is a very good feeling to know that we care about each other. Christine is 7 month pregnant. The once slim, anorexia type of girl ate like mania. Truely it was very entertaining to watch her eating. And JiaYi borke up her engagement because of the argument of dishes on their wedding banquet (we met up few days later, and she had this potential bf with her). YiLan's father's business was in danger because the father's partner tried to keep all the profit by nasty means. Irene's home building project is just started and her Japanese fiancee is coming over to Taiwan to propose to her family in the traditional way. Peggy is still the same, but getting used to the marriage life.

The other gang was the firefighter's wife and Jean and Echo. We hanged out at the pub they frequent and then roamed around the night market after few drinks. We went to the stall introduced by Jean. And we tried on T-shirts and stuff on the street (yeah, you have to ask your friend to hold down your shirt while pulling up new shirt you put on top of your own shirt. Speaking out of embarrassing personal experience... ). We bargained very hard with the owner, who was so funny to talk with (although he didn't give us a large enough discount). We then went to an shaved ice stall to split our closeth. Very fun night!

Grace and Kevin are the most close family friends. They are still good old Grace and Kevin. We almost eat together every meal (Of course, they are addict to my mom's cooking). XiaoHo is getting more mature and talks even more. However, he is constantly negotiating, never 100% rejecting your command. Although he wants something badly, he would say "If I can get this?" patiently or he would say "that doesn't sound too good".

Mankit's new home is great. He will be moving in in a couple of months. It is still under renovation. Carol's and my families met the first time for dinner in a Thai restaurant. And Dad was late again because he had to walk the dog.

Chinese Way

This is the good day when looking out of my flat

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I have got a collection of books discussing how Chinese develop, maintain, and survive in the "system". Chinese society is propelled by this system for thousands of years. Let me elaborate a bit on the "system". Well, GuanXi is a big part of it (for those who are not familiar with the phrase GuanXi, please google it, I think there is a book about Microsoft's experience in China named after this). GuanXi can be roughly translated into "connection". However, I think there is no other place in the world where connection is developed into such an extreme.

The backbond of Chinese society is not made of legal documents or religions or governing power. It is the unspeakable and unconsciously doing of Chinese way.

How was this system created? Some argue this is because of Confuscious' teaching, telling individualism has never been promoted, corporating is the key to survival. Another claim that there is no well-defined social order, laws can be bent anyway to theemperor's liking. Weak and powerless people had no other choice but to form many small circle, so to get the right information, so to get the proper support whenever it is needed.

In the west, heterosexual love plays important part of legends, folklords, poetry and music. However, in their Chinese counterparts, friendships are praised. Guess in Chinese minds, friendship can sustain living but love could do very little.

When those who know how to get to the top by making good connection, this individual might not need to have real talent. And the general public sickly consider this is the way of life. Perhaps this is why renaissance and industrial revolution didn't happen in China? Because we were all too busy to make the right connection?

Uniform Fitting

I should have add one more item to the strange things in Beijing list. The guards and policemens and soldiers in Beijing don't seem to care too much about having a well-fitted uniforms. The shirts and trousers are mostly too big. They have to use a belt to strapped to keep the trousers from falling and the excess being folded in the back. It makes them look like a kid in daddy's outfits.