Phantom in Our Brains

I am reading "Phantom in the Brain" by doctor Ramachandran. It is really amazing, we think we know it all? We know nothing, completely nothing about our brains. The chapter about the zombie in our brains is very interesting. The case study is about a girl who was in coma for a while because of CO poisoning. The portion of her brain to receive image into her brain was damaged. She is literally blind. When asking her to put a letter into a letter box, she unconciously tiled the envelope horizontally and slided it into the slot without difficulty. The portion of "what" is damaged, however, the portion of "how" is not. Her brain coordinated the image with action perfectly. The Zombie in our brains might be the key for any sport, do not let your seeing decieves you, what you feel is often more true than what you feel is right.

Our brains also does a lot of tricks to "fill in the blank". With all the information we receive from hearing and seeing, nevertheless, we are not the almighty who can understand everything. Our brains extends the available situations and creates a reasonable explanation so we can make sense of the world. Of course, the ultimate goal is to survive, the guessed answers are meant to help us to make decisions at the moment in order to avoid danger.

Silent Beach

There was actually no sun at all, I put on my hat only to keep my hair in one place.
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We went to the beach in the north east of Tokyo, 2 hour drive north. Though the weather is not sunny, we didn't cancel the trip. The wind was strong. The wave seem grayish because it was cloudy. I took a stroll along the shore, one side of the beach, standing the cliff and a couple of caves underneath. No one is around but seabirds. The water was cold but clear, the scenary was beautiful.

We quickly changed into the bathing suit, thinking there is no way to back out (hey, we work very hard to get ourselves here), we dived into the cold wave. Life guards switched on the silent speakers, broadcasting the water temperature and be careful that sort of stuff.

It is all very interesting experience to swim in the cold, light gray green and quiet sea. There is no human sounds can be heard but the waves. I swam to my heart's content in silence.

Value Added Service

During our trip in the mountain, we were again discussing how Japanese family lives. With Irene in tow, we can have a great inside of everything. Again, breakfast topic was brought to table. Since most Japanese mothers wake up at 5am, cook the rice, nicely cut and arrange the veggies as salad and grill fish. The beautiful and ornated breakfast was presented in the table by 6:30am. Wow was their reaction, both my mom and Grace were sleep-in moms. Breakfast was usually a piece of cookies.

Kevin's thought about it was that Japanese mothers complicate simple matters so to show their value in the family. How typical MBA graduate answer.

Conformity is the Mother of Stability (3)

Of course, we are very curious why the education and culture mold people this way. Kids are super well behaved and girls are so proper (according to Irene, this is most of the case).

When Mai came to our house for dinner (yes, we manage to fit in 5 adults and 1 jumpy kid in my small living/dining room, though 2 of us had to sit on the couch), we started to grill Mai about what we saw. Mai's answer is that most Japanese are taught not to be different from others since childhood. Restrained, endurance and control are highly praised.

This is the way of stability. If everything and everyone is predictable, others would easily find the way to corporate, interact with each other. If you think it from this point of view, it is not surprising that Japanese is the langauge with a lot of classes. The same idea needs to be expressed differently according to your gender, age and social status. This is largely accepted as manner, but I would rather think it is a rule which helps people to work and communicate with each other.

Getting a peace of mind has a higest piority in Japanese society.

Conformity is the Mother of Stability (2)

In our Kamikochi trip, we lodged in a small hotel in the woods. The hotel is run by a couple, they also teach how to dry and preserve flowers. Very cute little wooden ryokan with western style decor. When having dinner, Irene, my mom and I sat in one side of the table and Grace, XiaoHo, Kevin the other side. XiaoHo as usual was making a fuss of intaking any food into his mouth (he just does like to eat). But my mom's attention was drawn to 2 young ladies sitting in the table behind Grace, XiaoHo and Kevin. Irene and I particlpate in observing them.

The young girl's back was straight as log when sitting down. She didn't move or leg or change their posture. They moved elegantly, gracefully using the knives and forks to send the foods into their beautifully opened mounths. Talked in low voice, everything is so proper to the extend that ordinary Taiwanese would find impossible and entertaining (at least my mom was very entertained). Looking at our table, XiaoHo is putting his toy dinasours into the rice, insisted they need the rice more than he does. I was using my hand to pick up the unwanted Tomato from Irene's plate and asking for another glass of wine.

My mom's feeling is the 2 young ladies' restrained and controlled motions (and emotion, maybe) are very uncomfortable. They cannot even let off their guard when sharing a meal with siblings (we later found out they are sisters, Irene heard them calling each other. Because we cannot imagine why people would want to be so polite in front of your own family members). We even observed the plates after they have done their food and left. Wow, the fruit scrapes are set at the 9 o'clock position and the used knife and fork were pointing at 10 o'clock. The finished plates looks identical. Wow, we again gave our admiration. But if we are going to do the same? No way, our table is so messy after we are done, ha ha ha. We are so Taiwanese.

However, this 2 girls gave us a lot of fun. The next day, I kept my mom company in the yard when she played her Taichi, then we sat down chatting around 6:30, with my back facing the entrace. My mom suddenly said to me "The 2 freaks comes back.". It took me a while to realise who she was talking about. Kevin was not seeing those 2 girls during the dinner time, he was so curious that my mom exchange seats with him for breakfast. Again, the way they eat the unruly salad amazed Kevin (they used the fork to comb clean the shreded cabbages, until they are stable enough to be sent to the mouth).

During our trips, various questions were raised. Such as when we were eating ice cream cone, question like "would those 2 ladies lick the ice cream in public?", or "Would whose 2 ladies use the flushing sound to cover their peeing sound".

Conformity is the Mother of Stability (1)

It is definitely not easy to go around Tokyo with an uncontrollable 4 year old kid. Tokyo people are not very forgiving with kids, some restaurants even post a sign saying kids under 6 are not welcome. Everywhere we went, XiaoHo's behavior was under strict scrunity of Japanese eyes. You rarely see kids in Tokyo, even if seeing one, he/she is usually well behave. Otherwise, the eyesights shooting from other people are strong enough to pierce your heart.

I was quite annoyed at a point of time. Because, in fact, I am a very displined person, I tried my best to live healthily and respect the environment. I never sleep in, do not over eat (sometimes over drink a bit), religiously participate in recycling, exercise as much as I can, avoid taking public transportation as much as I can. Watching adults spoiling XiaoHo's requests makes me furious. How is it possible for them to raise a real man that way? I respect strong people and kids are really so weak and needy, yuck!

I was a bit angry and had been very cold to XiaoHo for a few days. We made peace with each other at the end because of our love to insects. We watched life in the undergrowth together, and I found out, XiaoHo is quiet if I keep telling stories. So I spent 2 hours tell him the insect stories I learnt from Dave Attenbourogh while Grace and my mom went shopping.

One Mountain cannot Acommondate Two Tigers

Old Chinese saying, meaning 2 strongheads cannot work together in one place.
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I always suspect that my mom sabatages my cookings whenever given a chance. It is very hard to explain, I am not a bad cook and I do understand what is good food. Many thanks to my mom, she trained me well (used to cook for my dad's factory workers during my summer vacation, my food was not too impressive because I remember people sneaking out of the table without comments). That's another story.

Ever since I started to develop my culinary talent and have lived in a couple different cities, naturally my foodie horizon has grown broader. Everytime I tried to bring the new spices/cookware/new tastes into my mom's kitchen, catastrophic events followed without fail. I start to wonder whether my mom destroy my dishes on purpose yet she looked so innocent.

One time I was trying to cook Aloo Gobhi (Indian Vegetarian Curry). I meant to use only one half of the onion, but my mom insisted she has no use of the rest half and I should chop it up and throw them into the dish. The curry turned watery and overly sweet. No one ate it but myself in order to be responsible.

The other time I wanted to make the Thai cucumber salad. I would like to seed the cucumber and thin julian cut them. But my mom came to the kitchen, seeing me clumsily slicing the cucumber. She took over the task and said "silly, it is faster to cut cucumber this way". She quickly finishing the cutting by diagonally slicing them then julian cut. However, the soft and watery cucumber seeds got into the dish, which diluted the flavor. When I wanted to use fresh lime juice, she gave me the bottle of artificial lemon juice (you know those kind bottled in bright light yellow lemon shape plastic). My dish was ruined again.

This time when we ate in my small apartment in Tokyo, I would like to make the cold spinach with grounded seasame sauce. Since I had guests to entertain, after I finishing preparing the sauce (grinding seasame is so fun to do), she confidently said that she will handle the rest. The dish came out with boiling hot spinach, the water was not drained completely and my sauce was floating on top of yellowish green leaves.

Path to the Eternal Truth

A well respected monk once said the path to enternal truth is to eat when eating, and shit and shitting. Easily said but hard to do well. Most people think about work when eating, think about lovers when sleeping with wives, think about moral issues when sleeping with lovers.

Old Flame

My mom came to Tokyo with a small luagage, filled with my Chinese books (ecstatic I am). I finished reading Feng Tong's "Everything Grows". What a sharp and hullarious writing, I am so glad that I am chinese who can enjoy the sacastism and twist because I understand the language and culture heritage. Though I have read his latest work, and found that his style hasn't changed much since 5 years ago. Perhaps that's all he can do but I am still very very entertained by his work.

Feng was reciting his dog's years in medical school in Beijing. From his eyes, Beijing all of sudden become so attractive. The careless remorseless barbarousness is so appealing. Nothing can be seemed exciting as in the old Beijing, couple of hundred of years living undernearth of the emperor's feet. They have seen changing of dynasties, killing innocent civilians, invasion by other countries. Ha, quite a good read. Hard to imagine this type of metality in Tokyo, Kyoto might have got a bit of it, or perhaps it is the Kansai people metality of being careless and open?

The protagonist was the medical student who is fasinated by literatures, had a the most healthy girl friend you can imagine (it is odd that there are so many stern mind and strong head women in China). She knows exactly what she wants, how to take care of herself (and the boy friend). She is hard working as the fellow medical student. She broke up with him because, she said, "You will never love me as much as I love you". Her rational sense was singing victory but her emotional right hemisphere brain was torn into pieces. The protagonist's weak protest stood no chance of protesting the girl's strong will. They split and he brought her back everything she prepared for him. The duvet (hard to imagine but pretty pratical thinking for poor medical students studying in Beijing in the 80s), the bento box, the tea cup, etc. That's the way to cut things out.

Quite an interesting read, I burst out giggling in Shinkanshen all the time while reading it. Speaking of returning your ex-lover's stuff, I think most man would not have the sense to do as the protagonist's done. Unless their girl friend on duty forces him do to so (man are just so not having the complete set of nerves). My first love gave me a whole paper bag of letters I wrote him 2 years after we broke up. I was shocked to realise how naive and passionate I was in my 17. I reviewed each one of them sitting on a bench in a park after our last meeting. I laughed and tore the letter into pieces by hand, their final destiny can only be the dumpster, no where else.

Being Average

Taking a nap! The weather is really hot. Mom and Grace's family are coming to Tokyo tomorrow, yay!

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I started to realised that our clients and the IT company their employed are not composed of very shockingly brilliant people. You can be normal, ordinary and survive in the same company for more than a decade. Being smart, sharp and aggressive doesn't give you the edge to succeed in Japanese group. You need to be smart enough to show your intellengence in the right place and right time in order to climb up the ladder. Of course, being a woman doesn't help that much.

This is really unthinkable for me. In the company I work for now, the shining stars are all mean and impatient. They are admired for being able to deliver results based on their individual merit. At the same time, the venom of their teeth are ingored and sometimes falsely praised. I pity those who are less characteristics and less agressive, they are treated like shit. There is no corporatinve culture, everyone is trying to be a leader so he/she can show off how important it is to have this person around in the organization. It is truely impossible to hire person who has been in the same organization in the same position for more than 5 years. Something must be fishy, is he/she that unemployeeable? Obviously, this case has a different reading in Japan.

On the other hand, you cannot deny that Japan is still the second largest economy body in the world. They must be doing something right. I suppose they do not exploit individual's talent but rather taking the sweet time to get things work out in a group (you know how long it is to iron the politics when doing a project). There is no hero (even if you are, you will conform to become a less pronounced person in time), the organization has piority number one.

Do Not Get Joey Angry

Water fight in the BBQ party. I guess I was half drunk and got really angry that someone poured the whole bucket of icy cold water from my head. I was soaking wet from head to toe. Furious but couldn't find the proper containers (bottles, cups, too small to show my determination of revenge). I lifted up the plastic pool, used all strength as I might, chased the guy who was responsible.
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We skated for 3 hours from Shinagawa station to the seaside park near Haneda airport. Too many people and you have to watch very carefully where the foods are coming from, otherwise there is no beef. Playing too hard to notice that the sun was really strong, I went home with burned shoulders and heavy head (too much alcohol is not very good for you on Sunday afternoon).

Sleepy Head on My Shoulder

I have not felt so sleepy for years. I was trapped in a meeting, sitting next to the translator, the topic was the integration test plan. Oh well, I was struggling trying to keep myself staying awake but my attention drifted constantly into the flurry eternity. Trying to wake myself up by reading the handout to no avail. It is so interesting what a meeting can do to you.

If Romeo is a Middle Age Man

He carefully weights what is the benefit to play this suicidal plot. Would he be able to leaverage this threat so he can get more supporters from his family or even holding Juliet as hostage so her family would give him a hefty ransom in order to keep him away from their innocent, pretty daughter?

Romeo not only wants the wealth but also is very careful about his reputation. However, playing suicide with a teenage girl doesn't give him a very good name. People would think how could a sophisticated middle age man be crazy like a testosterone-filled, sex-drive-everthing youngster? There must be something fishy about him. This certainly impedes his chance of landing another woman in the future, or getting an important position in this community (oh well, guess not many places are like France).

Unsurprisingly, he successfully convinced Juliet that he loves her but he cannot participate in this plan. He married to a woman whose profile helps him to climb higher in the social ladder and regularly meets up Juliet who also married to a guy her family arranged.

The sad thing is that everyone thinks the arrangement is the best they can have, and thank god no one died.

Life in the Undergrowth

Isn't she beautiful?

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I first watched the series when in London and my jaw dropped for one whole hour. I am always fasinated by BBC's high quality TV drama, documentary and news (there was a series about cosmetic surgery, have seen some scene that American audience would not even dream in their wildest dream, that deserved another blog). The cinematography (uh... there is no script) and music were definitely at the top of the game.

That episode, invasion of the land, has the scene about slugs. A slug is both male and female, however, it has to receive another slut's sperm to be impregnated. They move slowly and gracefully, tangled by each other while hanging by their slimy fluid from the tree bark. The reproductive organ sprung from the back of their heads, transparent and moist. Again, those interwinded elegantly while both of their bodies swirling, rotating in slow motion. Wow, this is almost as sensual as porn.

David Attenborough is another reason why the series is so successful. Born in 1926, it is amazing that he was close to 80's when making these series. You can feel his passion toward these beautiful creatures. He's passionate but subtle, he acts but not to the degree you feel annoyed or embarrassed for him. The dull science suddenly becomes so mysterious that you want to know more about it. That's what a great educator should be.

Okutama Hike

Before rushing out to take the train, I quickly grab the rain coat without really thinking why. I paddled like a mania to Tokyo station, from waking up to jumping into the rapid service to Shinjuku station, 25 minutes. That's really the best I have ever achieved these years.

The hike was pleasant despite our tendency of losing our way (struggled for 1 and half hour before getting the entrance to the 10 km trek). Things were nice until it rained. The rain came abruptly and we were all soaking wet. I tried my best to stay dried under my raincoat. At the same time, scolding everyeone who didn't listen to me preparing for the rain. Though I am worried very much about my hiking mates. Gee, do not go back to the office again saying that you are injured or catch a cold, I am already famous in hurting people while taking them out for rock climbing, sea swimming or hiking.

Save Water and the Earth

I am getting more interested in thinking of ways to preserve water resource (at least in my household). The only thing I can do right now is to use the waste water to flush my toilet. My little bath bucket has become my best friend recently. After coming back from work, I wash my face and catch a bucket of water, good to use for flushing the toilet later. The shower in the morning is the great time to collect a couple of buckets to flush and wash the toilet. When washing veggies in the kitchen, the waste water is saved, then down the toilet. It feels nice to be able to contribute a tiny bit in saving the planet.

Snail on Lettuce

This book cover is really classic.
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Mentioned more than once before that living along is a great place to develop certain habbits. One of those is to remember what object is supposed to be where the last time I place them. I think this sprung from my insecurity and wariness about my space being intruded or altered without my knowledge (I remember reading Stephen King's Misery, the crazy nurse, Annie, would skillfully placed her hair on floor so that if the poor captive, Paul, came out of his room by unlocking the door with a hairpin, she knew!).

I even remember how my books are arranged or whether the toilet seat cover is up or down (I pull it up to scrub the bow every morning, it is not like I can do my business standing up). I meticulously make sure my kitchen is clean, everything is in order, including my fridge.

One morning I took out the juicer jar from the fridge in which contianed the processed veggies prepared the night before. Thought it was only a second, my corner eyesigt caught something unusual was lying on the floor of the fridge divider. It looks like a small streak of tea leaf but I quickly dismissed the idea because I am quite sure that I washed my thermo thoroughly last night. That's a foregin object that wasn't registered in my brain.

That's a tiny slug! I picked it up and carefully put it on the celery leaf, place it on top of my speaker box. Thinking it would be quite cool if I have a slut as a pet. I then start to get worried that maybe I have blended quite a few its friends in my morning veggie juice. Unfortunately, the tiny slug dried and died with the leaves when I returned from work. I guess I am no good in having any pets.

Derman

After reading "Trader, Guns and Money", "My Life as a Quant" was the living proof of Amazon's business model. I ordered this book simply because it says "People who possess Das' book also bought it". Shopping online for books though hard to replace the joy of finding a good read in bookstores, I still reward myself of new books every months by ordering from Amazon Japan (their English books are usually 10% less than Kinokuniya or Maruzen).

Derman implemented the famous BDT (Black-Derman-Toy) model for bond option valuaiton. Not consider myself a hardcored Financial Engineer, but I am very curious about how the serious academic transit, adopt and perform in the dog-eat-dog investment banks. Almost finishing the book, quite interesting in reading it as if it is a story since the stories, names, mathmatical equation and concepts are so familar. Even the experience of jumping ships (transfer from one company to another) is damn similar.

I am not sure what Derman is doing now, given a chance in particle physics academia research, would he ever wanted to end up in Wall Street? Or would he surrender to the reality and money?

The Buddhist Saying

All pain and stresses are originated from our desire. When unable to satisfy our desire, pain and anxiety arose.

Earthquake

I finished an episode of the life in the undergrowth. It is about insects relying ont each other in the game of survival. The grey blue butterfly's lavas give out the same smells like ant's lava. The ants dutifully clean and feed them, in despite their twice of the size and different colour. As I was surprised by the cleverness of the lavas, the wasp ran into the ant's nest and release a sort of hormon which makes ants to fight each other. During the chaos, the wasp found the butterfly's lavas and lay one egg in each of them. Damn, the line of incident has more twists than most of the movies I have seen recently.

I surroundered to the hot and humid summer night in Tokyo and finally switch on my air condition. I lay in my bed, enjoying the dry and cool air. As I turned to my side, my bed was shaking violently. I was thinking oh gee, my bed is really not strong enough or I am too heavy. Only a couple of seconds later then I realized it the earthquake. Wondering what could happen if the building collapses, I fell asleep again.