Who's Got the UpperHand?

The hat is amazingly warm.
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I have a friend who is amazingly talented in dealing with complicated relations in everyday life. When we grew older, of course, she handles office politics. She observes, protects her turf, no one can really take advantage of her. Marriage to her is just like another power play.

Observing from my friends, marriage is never a matter of 2 people. The girl is marrying into a family, being fed/imposed a complete different sets of values. How laundries should be handled, how money should be spent, and how foods should be prepared are all different from the way she was brought up. It is a game between 2 parties, who should conform and who should take the upperhand?

The subtilty of overthrowing the master of the household (normally the mother in law) was staged. She lost the first war because the newly wed didn't get to live in her choice of location. I guess she knew it is time to fight back. She insisted on redoing all interior to her standard. This is like a big bomb in her husband's household. Though very rich, they live very frugal and simple life. She didn't give in, continuously debate/negotiate/install her thinkings. Her family is also supporting her, paying for the renovation cost... Oh well, the mother in law had nothing to say, though unhappy. She successfully won the second battle. Though still many value concept clashes, She is left alone.

I guess it is true for everything, you need to set the tone right (what is right? In favor of yourself is right) at the beginning. No matter it is the first time you step into the project room, meet a new friend, or walk into the restaurant.