The Chinese phase, 做人 - "Make People" is the utmost important skill a Chinese person learn． It doesn't mean to produce people, but to connect with friends, relatives, co-workers and superiors. As mentioned before, it seems women are the natural social bonding guru, thus, a lot of the "make people" skills were passed along by mothers. Mothers teach their youngs to be kind and to empathize with others. At the same time, we were taughted 規矩．This phrase is made of 2 Chinese characters, the first one is compass to draw perfect circle and the second is the ruler with 90 degree angle to help draw a retangle. Rules and manners help people to interact with each other without instigating conflicts.
I have been a kid who is very good at improvising. I observed and read without getting noticed, and I sort of figure out what adults or test makers are expecting us to do or answer in an exam. So, "GuiJu" means be nice to others, and I would be recognized as a good kid. I started to wash up whenever I was invited for meals since very young. But I didn't realise things can be quite tricky when doing the dishes in my boy friend's house with others around. I only start to realise there is also a "GuiJu" for being a guest, which is not to invade the host's turf.
Some people critize Japanese show pretencious manners and etiquette, which mold them into machinary. You hear the mechanical welcoming and farewelling phrases, you see the standard smiles. Do they really mean it? Perhaps not all the time. Would you rather like to prefer it to the rough, hot blooded, straightforward treatment in Beijing? I suppose most people would say yes.
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