Am I Getting Weak Or Something Else?

I was riding my cycle to work as usual this morning. Just after going through the Limehouse overpass, the cyclist behind me called "Stop! Stop!". I stopped and looked at him with suspecion, who parked just after me.

"Your rear tire is flat, it is going to damage the rim". He pulled out the air pump and fixed the rear tire and then the front one. I don't know what to say, but kept saying thank you and thank you. We split and wished each other a marry Xmas.

Amazingly, the bike becomes so light that I can shift gear easily. I thought I was getting weak because going uphill or faster has been difficult to me recently. It turns out it is only because my tires are flat!

A Cow Riding a Motorcycle

Party in Mai's house. I ate too much food and got on the wrong-direction train twice on my way home.
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I am not able to shake off the cold since Sunday night. Maybe getting on the wrong train twice tramatised my immune system. There is one Chinese saying goes "Sickness comes like a mountain crumbles, it goes away like taking the thread out of cotton ball".

I hate being sick, it is really hard to concentrate and I feel very weak.

Power Corruption

It is very curious why some politicians would make stupid and emotional remarks in front of media. I don't think their voice coach teaches them to talk that way. Some explain it is because the enormous stress to be elected or re-elected.

As an average person, I really could not understand the pressure. No one is going to die if she/he fails to keep the seat! Obviously, politicians are so mentally ill that they cannot understand what is wrong to be aggressive, nasty and ill-mannered.

Another sad story about a Taiwanese woman in power. She had 2 kids without getting married and claimed she's got the spern from a donor. However, media found out that she had this 10-year relationship with her body guard, an indigenous person, who is the father of her two children. In Taiwan, the indigenous people are usually considered less-educated and tend to be in the bottom of the social classes. They were very in love and being her body guard seems to be the only way for them to be togother. They broke up soon after the news broke.

I think she is insane. Power and fame have damaged her brain.

Is it Genetic Or Something Else?

Very puzzled....

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During the dinner on Saturday night with anthropology professors from other European countries, one Japanese post doc mentioned the strange phenomena he observed in his field study in Taiwan, Taiwanese men are extremely nice to their girl friends, they even carry their handbags in a fear it is going to burden the girls. The other post doc thinks it is because Taiwanese men are raised to pursue only financial success thus fail to develope into an all-rounded person. If you ask them "what is your hobbie?" or "what is your opinion about this", you might be frustrated. On the opposite, Taiwanese girls have less baggage and are free to grow in many other interesting aspects. It is like the A class tennis player really does not want to play with a C class player. The C class player has to try harder to be in the game. The conclusion is that men would not seek for partners who are stronger and more sophisticated than they are.

I was really upset because I think how to feel good and confident cannot be measured by how much money you bring home. I don't understand why it would be difficult for a man to have a girl friend who are stronger mentally or financially. I can understand it could be related to power balance in a relationship, but says who men should always be the bread winner and always on top? A relationship should be more in a cooperative dynamics. If earning more money and always being on top is the only way for men to feel happy and assertive about himself, I am sorry, I think he has a probelm.

Rabbit and Vegetarian

On Saturday night, we all went to a Chinese restaurant after the seminar. I think one of the speakers is a vegetarian and he had two veg dishes. One grad student said he could not stand vegetarians jokingly and mentioned how much he wants to lock up a vegetarian and a rabbit in a room.

I asked "So they can fight for the carrots?".

Yokiko

I met Kim last night in Mai's house party. She is very outspoken and cheerful person. She told us that she had a Japanese name, Yokiko. Her Japanese friend gave her that name, which means "Snowwhite".

"Is it because your complexion is very delicate?" We asked. She replied "No, he thinks my brain must resemble a field white as snow.".

The Powerful Pause

I usually spend my Saturday afternoon in National Gallery, joining the 1-hour guide tour and going through 5 or 6 paintings. The guides are volunteers and seem to take their shift at random. They look like retirees who enjoy teaching.

Getting your idea across, receiving the echo/approvals/recognition and, thus, building up the bondings between strangers is great. It might be the only quick and clean way to feel belonged to a group or even own a group. We want to fit in so much that we teach, or be taught.

My favorite tour guide looks at his late 60s. He appears confident and perfectly passionate about histry and art. However, if you look at him in his eyes you'll find that he looks beyond you when talking. He talks with very confident pause in between sentences. He is not searching for words, I think, that is his strategy to draw his audienc's attention. He pauses and stares at a painting as if he is admiring it all over again. And we are all impatiently wanting to know what he has found this time.

Ice Hockey

I was told that ice hockey team actually has a position called "enforcer". The guy does not do anything but to beat up those who try to hurt the star player. How cool is that.

Hockey Stop

My Miffy key chain scared Lukas. Miffy bad, bad!

p.s. Michael thinks it was me that scared Lukas, I think he might be right.
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It was really nice to ice skate in open air. Although the ring is small (half of the hockey field) and the rental skates are not very comfortable, I really enjoyed going around the ice. Each stroke propelled me forward a bit and I gained little speed. I cut through the crowd and cold air. I could not help but smile to the air, this reminds me of winter in Toronto so much. A clean happiness.

Yield Curve Genertion

Hello Christopher! Long time no see! How are you?

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I was getting a bit angry with Sarig this morning when we were discussing the yield curve generation. I don't know a lot about mathematical finance but I have been working with zero curves since starting to work.

Sarig came from pure engineering background, obviously has less experience about the subject than I. But he refused to take me seriously. He thinks only the proper quant on the first floor can do the math of yield curve generation. That really upset me.

I started to be nasty and attacked his every single statement, pointing out the logical errors and throwing lots of jargons such as "2-factor term structure model", "martingale measure" and so on. He felt the heat and kept arguing with me.

At the end, he asked me why I became so nasty and this conversation does not help him to learn anything at all. I felt very very embarrassed. Am I trying to prove myself by putting down others? What is to get if I win every arguement? Why am I uncomfortable when people underestimate my ability, especially those who cannot give me my pay rise? I apologised immediately.

I do appreciate Sarig brought it up right away. He is a veyr nice guy and I bought him coffee later. I think I will remember this incident for very long time.

People Talk Their Guts Out but Not Listen

Almost thought that's a KFC

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Or communication itself is a very difficult thing to do. I think communication is more than getting your idea across, it is also a process for two parties to reach an agreement on certain issues. When standing on the common ground, we feel level (literally) with the other person, perhaps, that's the time we can start shooting thoughts and not to worry they are going to miss the target.

Interestingly people are very eager to talk, not really ready to accept others' opinions. I found keeping silient and staring at the talker with an expression-less face is very powerful. At least I am secretly entertaining myself, just to think how long it takes for him/her to realise I don't understand him/her at all. I stop to smile and pretend being interested, after all, that's for those in their 20s.

The Secretary

I think the movie, the secretary, is very well made. Edward Grey is a lawyer, always replacing his secretaries. He is the most isolated person on earth, thus, incapable of accepting or giving (perhaps the later causes the former). Lee Holloway just got out of the mental institute for her self-multilation habbits, which is her only mean to release herself from cruel reality. She became his secretary. She fell for him.

I can see why Lee fell in love with Ed (because she's narrated it at the end of the movie, quoted later). I think Edward is, on the contrary, the most mysterious character. He lives a perfectly normal live, with slight compulsory disorder symdroms. But why is he incapable of opening up? Why he is fond of Lee and responded her hunger strike? Is it sexual? Is it finding someone willing to give him the full control? Is it Lee's complete trust turning him on? The film does not answer those questions.

Quoted from the Lee Holloway: "One way or anohter I always suffer. I don't know why, I only know I am not scared of suffering now. I feel more than I ever felt. I found someone to feel with, to play with, to love. I hope he knows I know he is suffering, too."

Cycling Home

Oh, that's the party time in Sunny California.

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I cycled home on my every-day route, had my music with me, I padelled in my own slow pace. I was taking a sharp turn before the cross over near Limehouse. There was a cab dropping off passengers on the right side of the street, and car behind the cab tried to take over it, which came in my direction.

The driver slowed down and rolled down the window as we passed each other very closely. I thought he is going to ask for direction and I was ready to help. Instead, he yelled "this is one way street" and I felt so upset and angry. My first reaction was to shout to the back of the car as it drove away "IT IS NOT!".

My voice was so loud in the quiet street, I even scared myself a bit. As I biked away, I started to think if that is really an one-way street, well, I am not sure anymore.

Oh Well, Something could be Bad

My mom never gets the time zone difference right, she rang me up 5 am this morning and I have not fully recovered from all the drinking the night before.

I took a shower and found my calf was in pain. Well, it took me few minutes to investigate what it is. It turns out my calf was burned by my hot water bottle. Also found another bruise on my leg, only to remember that I tripped over my bed.

Cheer Up, Nothing can be So Bad

Very interesting face I had in this picture.
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I actually trimed my hair myself sometimes, but always denied it. Perhaps I should get my hair professionally done this time.

Piece of Cake

The old Victorian tradition, putting a piece of wedding cake under the pillow would bring good luck to the unmarried. Some genius figured out a better implementation: eat the cake and put the pillow on top of your tummy.

Animal Cruelty

I don't understand how I could sleep in this shrimp mode.

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It is possible to send your Thanksgiving turkey money to some charity so they can send the old turkeys to a farm, live until they die.

I had read an interesting story about turkey one time. Hong Kong was one of the first few places in China where western holidays are celebrated. There was a little boy always wants to try turkey. He nagged his mom for years. The mother was pictured as the typcial Hong Kong mom: loud, chobby, industrial, economical, always nagging about the importance of studying hard yet very warm, one of my favorite character in the story.

Anyhow, she happened to find a big oven on sale and finally bought the turkey in one Thanksgiving. They spent 3 days to defrost it and 6 month to finish the whole bird. (Well, a lot of you might not understand how could this be true, but I can assure you this could be very true in Chinese household. The unfinished meat is packed and frozen for future consumption). The mom made so many different dishes with the turkey meat, but the little boy could not help but felt great relief when the last piece of bond was thrown out.

A turkey's life is less than 3 months from hatched to slaughter, but the little boy had accompanied the bird more than its life span.

Hanging out with a Group of Strangers

Keny, Cathy's brother, was amazed that I've lived alone for many years. He thinks hanging out with people round our age group is the essential part of our social life. He aggressively fixed me up with his friend, Joan, who moved to London from Hong Kong only recently. Interestly, Keny and Joan have never met themselves.

My flamenco lesson was cancelled on this Friday evening because our instructor was sick. I went along the gathering. We met in China town, along with 5 other friends. Joan has an intensive network of friends in London already, I only then realised I am the only one needs help in their eyes.

This group of young Chinesse professionals eat Chinese foods, listen to Chinese pop music and carry designer watches, hangbags, outfits. I almost feel bad for the first time pulling out my not-so-in-fashion mobile phone. Living in London does not change theirHong Kong life style, I cannot help but start thinking what makes them happy? Recreating the we-are-still-in-Hong-Kong illusion is the most interesting challenge. The goal is to be more Hong-Kong than anyone lives in Hong Kong.

I understand how difficult it is to melt into this western culture, especially british main stream. Hiding behind our own kind seems reasonable yet natural. Nevertheless, something does not appear too positive.