Mirror and Inspiration?

My four new friends. They are really cool in cleaning the strangely stubborn stains in the kitchen and bathroom. I am really wondering how people in the past survive without those chemicals?

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The Beijing project has come to an end and I bid the 8 to 10 working hour fairwell this week. I went home around 7 and didn't know what to do really. Really fancy a drink or 2, talking nonsense but find no local drinking partners.

I was really thrilled to go to a pub with a colleague, who just came to Beijing the first time for this project. We went to the pub I have been to several times, a terrace on top of a 5 story building. Not until we reached the top then I realised I managed to walk into the wrong entrance (they look identical, I swear). The pub was nice anyway (plus no one wanted to walk the 5 flights of stairs again) so we stayed.

I didn't realise anything wrong but, after a while, my colleague pointed out that there are quite a few male couples sitting very closely, chatting in very low voice. Then I noticed the bartenders are very femanine looking and extraordinarily nice. I mean, I am OK with it but the mosquitos were really annoying.

As I was talking to my colleague, I mean, I come to realise why some of my ex-colleagues didn't hang out much with people from the office. I was holding back and thought to myself, wow, I was really outspoken in the past. So, being mature means that you know the way to have a pleasant conversation and have fun without giving away too much of yourself?

The Ape in the Corner Office

Ok, Claire didn't give "Blink" a lot of credit, but I still think it is very fascinating. Indeed, "Blink" is talking about a lot of common sense, however, it is very helpful to some slow-nerved people like me. I guess it is due to my choice of career, I didn't get to deal with people on daily basis. Also, there has not been too much office politics falling upon me (good or bad?), I consider myself very slow in face reading. I am now staring at people's face more. However, interestingly that you can sometimes feel easy when talking and looking into the conversation partner's eyes yet sometimes uneasy.

In my retrospect, I don't think it has anything to do with power or ranking, it has more to do with personality clicking. I guess I unconsciously decide the tone, the voice and the mood of the conversation 2 seconds I meet with a person. Of course, if I feel the partner is ready to accept me, the whole process is going to be more fun. Eye contact is so crucial in expressing the green light. Once the trusty bonding builds up, ideas and coversations flows both ways.

But I did mis-interpret quite a few people before. I think that is because I didn't know myself well enough and, consequently, I didn't know the impact I have on people. Well we should feel grateful that this situation is only going to get better as experience accumulated, perhaps that's the only upside of getting old.

Another very interesting book by Richard Conniff, "The Ape in the Corner Office". The way we behave is really not too far away from Chimps...

Old Chinese saying goes "Even dogs dislike the 2 years old".

XiaoHo's first experience on Train. My mom and XiaoHo accompanied me to Hualian to visit Claire, who was transfered to the small town from Taipei a year ago.
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The journey itself was very fun. In Taipei train station, I was carrying the trolly, a bag for XiaoHo's food and cloth, my own backpack. Just imagine how you can carrythe folded buggie, try hard not to let the wheels stain your light colour trousers, carry 2 bags, keep an eye on the kid (and my mom who is holding him) and go up/down the stairway. My mom managed to find me some food to take on the train, otherwise I would be eating all XiaoHo's crackers and complain non stop.

It is impossible to read at all. I was reading an very interesting book about Finland. But XiaoHo interrupted my supposingly quiet, intellectual reading every 2 minutes. Getting all my mom's attention is not enough for him, he also wanted mine (How Greedy)! The situation got better after I threatened that I am going to send him over to the train manager.

I have to say something about our train manager, with whom after you meet, you would think there is still some hope in this country. He was a middle age man with bright teeth, thin and meticulous dressed. He bowed to the air when entering and spoke with gentle voice to ask for checking our tickets. He had the perfect manner and authority as a train manager. As I spoke to him, XiaoHo held my mom tight and hid his face in between her neck and shoulder. COWARD!

I am not saying Chinese way of running a state owned business or working for such business is not good, it is sometimes more interesting (Yeah, the Firefighter's wife said that she once met a train manager who was so relax that he slept on the train and share the lunch box with her group). However, it was really a great delight to see someone respects his profession, his passengers and himself so truely.

Hair Disaster Again

The moment I set foot into my home in Taipei, my mom was scrutinising my hair... And then Grace came up immediately with her hair cutting kit. I was brave enough to give my consent to let her cut my hair. The day after, I realised the back of my hair was not even and that really bothers me. So my mom did it again with the thining scissors and started trimming the back. I really started to worry when she commented "wow, the scissors are amazing, no matter how randomly I cut the hair, nothing truns too disastrous".

I ran to the hair dressor on Monday. She looked at my hair and said diplomatically "well, maybe you should not try to solve a problem all by yourself".

This is the fifth hair style over these 2 months.
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During my vacation, I decided to make the effort to re-connect with my friends. I called everyone on my phone list and see if we can arrange a time to meet up. Almost all of them made the effort to come out and play.

It is a very good feeling to know that we care about each other. Christine is 7 month pregnant. The once slim, anorexia type of girl ate like mania. Truely it was very entertaining to watch her eating. And JiaYi borke up her engagement because of the argument of dishes on their wedding banquet (we met up few days later, and she had this potential bf with her). YiLan's father's business was in danger because the father's partner tried to keep all the profit by nasty means. Irene's home building project is just started and her Japanese fiancee is coming over to Taiwan to propose to her family in the traditional way. Peggy is still the same, but getting used to the marriage life.

The other gang was the firefighter's wife and Jean and Echo. We hanged out at the pub they frequent and then roamed around the night market after few drinks. We went to the stall introduced by Jean. And we tried on T-shirts and stuff on the street (yeah, you have to ask your friend to hold down your shirt while pulling up new shirt you put on top of your own shirt. Speaking out of embarrassing personal experience... ). We bargained very hard with the owner, who was so funny to talk with (although he didn't give us a large enough discount). We then went to an shaved ice stall to split our closeth. Very fun night!

Grace and Kevin are the most close family friends. They are still good old Grace and Kevin. We almost eat together every meal (Of course, they are addict to my mom's cooking). XiaoHo is getting more mature and talks even more. However, he is constantly negotiating, never 100% rejecting your command. Although he wants something badly, he would say "If I can get this?" patiently or he would say "that doesn't sound too good".

Mankit's new home is great. He will be moving in in a couple of months. It is still under renovation. Carol's and my families met the first time for dinner in a Thai restaurant. And Dad was late again because he had to walk the dog.

Chinese Way

This is the good day when looking out of my flat

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I have got a collection of books discussing how Chinese develop, maintain, and survive in the "system". Chinese society is propelled by this system for thousands of years. Let me elaborate a bit on the "system". Well, GuanXi is a big part of it (for those who are not familiar with the phrase GuanXi, please google it, I think there is a book about Microsoft's experience in China named after this). GuanXi can be roughly translated into "connection". However, I think there is no other place in the world where connection is developed into such an extreme.

The backbond of Chinese society is not made of legal documents or religions or governing power. It is the unspeakable and unconsciously doing of Chinese way.

How was this system created? Some argue this is because of Confuscious' teaching, telling individualism has never been promoted, corporating is the key to survival. Another claim that there is no well-defined social order, laws can be bent anyway to theemperor's liking. Weak and powerless people had no other choice but to form many small circle, so to get the right information, so to get the proper support whenever it is needed.

In the west, heterosexual love plays important part of legends, folklords, poetry and music. However, in their Chinese counterparts, friendships are praised. Guess in Chinese minds, friendship can sustain living but love could do very little.

When those who know how to get to the top by making good connection, this individual might not need to have real talent. And the general public sickly consider this is the way of life. Perhaps this is why renaissance and industrial revolution didn't happen in China? Because we were all too busy to make the right connection?

Uniform Fitting

I should have add one more item to the strange things in Beijing list. The guards and policemens and soldiers in Beijing don't seem to care too much about having a well-fitted uniforms. The shirts and trousers are mostly too big. They have to use a belt to strapped to keep the trousers from falling and the excess being folded in the back. It makes them look like a kid in daddy's outfits.

Best Treat in Summer

My best friend when I was 6 had owned an electronic ice shaver. That was the best thing I had ever saw. The snow white ice came out of the shaver, piling up in a plate. I can imagine many nice cut-up fruits on them, with little syrup. But I have never owned one because my mom wouldn't allow such useless thing in her kitchen.

In fact, we grew up without soft drinks or snacks. We could only have the adult foods, meaning, rice and dishes. We had money for breakfast to buy some bread or milk. My mom cooked for the factory workers and company employees during lunch time while we had our lunch box in school. At dinner, we consumed the leftover from lunch and my mom filled up our lunch boxes with the leftover of leftover.

Our lunch boxes were made of steel. Rice in the bottom compartment and meat and veggies (from different dishes) were all mixed up in the upper one. The whole class's lunch boxes (50 something) were put into a big steel box and we took turn to take it to the steam room. They were steamed until lunch time, so the veggies were never green and everyone's food smelled indistinguishable.