I was really delighted to see XiaoHo's ear-holdig posture...  

Crazy Plug-in Team in Barclays Capital, London 

Visiting My Grand Mother

Perhaps it is hard for westerners to understand why Chinese are so into visiting ancesters' tomb or so keen to be buried in the family burial ground (meaning, having your name engraved in a piece of wood, which is the ancestral tablet and is displayed in the family temple).

There is really no concept of religion in Chinese culture. The Chinese characters of religion was borrowed from Japanese in 19th century. It means "ancester" and "doctrine". I don't want to do too deep on the definition of Chinese way of religion comprehension, I
think it could as well be a doctorial paper in anthropology.

Chinese babies were born with a very big selfhood. A new born has to take its ancestral history, land, custom, expectation and unfinished dreams. It is also expected to continue the family line forever. This is dying donw as Chinese societies modernise but it roots deeply in our bloodstream. Religions are not such an important part of Chinese' every-day life because ancestral worship practice sort of fulfills the spiritual needs. To my father, the meaning of life is to glorify the family, it is not surprising that we don't communicate with each other very well because I like to make money more. Ha ha ha...

We picked up uncle Thomas and auntie Feng first and then drove to the mountain. I guess my grand mom would be the last generation of our family to be buried (I secretly planned things for my parents and myself already).

Her final resting place is so big and well-maintained. But don't be mistaken, it's definitely not like the cemetaries in the church yard in the west. Chinese cemetaries are spine-chilling. They are
usually located in mountain with very good view (essentials of good Feng-Shui). Just imagine the whole mountain has no living things but well-groomed trees and us. The sky was grey and cloud is heavy.

We walked into the tomb area as if we are about to enter her residence. It has a small temple for the local god. We have to offer him some food, incense and paper money. And then to my grand mom. The tea is poured over the ground as if she is drinking it. The burning of paper money is my favorite part, the only legal time for kids to play matches apart from Chinese New Year's fireworks.

We had to report to her what we are doing and all the gossips among relatives as if she could hear us well. I think that's the way for shy Chinese to communicate among family members.

We stubornly think our ancesters would watch over us if we treat them right. I guess I will continue doing so and pass it along with no logical explanations, I just think it is the right thing to do.

The Next Few Days

I understand if I don't update my blog for a long while, I might lose all my readers. I have to continue writing.

Taipei is getting cold and humid because of the cold front, the drizzles didn't stop for 3 days in a row. I was waken by my mom because we were about to visit my grand mom's tomb. My grand mother passed away in Taiwan almost 10 years ago, her final resting place is in a mountain, few hundred miles away from Hong Kong, with great view of port of Taipei city.

Just before we were ready to go out, we found my dad had gone walking the dog and forgot his access card key back to our building.

We called his mobile and replied his anxious voice, Yi-Long is missing!! Yi-Long was loosen after passing the gate, he ran down the hill (probably he is after some girl dogs nearby) and my dad was waiting for around half an hour in the rain. My dad was almost saying we should consider buying another dog.

I had to drive around to look for Yi-Long... And I found him, he looked very scared and worried. He didn't recognise me first and turned ecstatic when realising I have come to his resecue.

Because of the tight schedule, I had to go out visiting my grand mom with my uncle and auntie without bras, make-ups. I am wearing the funny-looking socks with my mom's colourful sandals.

It is alright, this is Taiwan.

First Day

I think I am not feeling very good about leaving London.

When queuing for the security, the idiot behind me stood too close to me, so I bent over to tie my shoe laces (although my boots have none) and my bagpack swang across his tummy by accident and I heard he grumble. That made me feel better for 2 second.

I think the fact that I have left London for good didn't really hit me until I was on the plane. I am actually leaving behind a lot of friends and connections.

Yeah, I guess I was really bored sometimes and I don't really hang out with anyone during weekends in London. Because I think I just dont fit in anywhere. But, after all, I am so used to it.

After 3 years in London, most of my relations and connections are mature or really close to, it is truely the time I should enjoy the fruital results. Just imagine the effort and time to rebuild all of those again.

Ironically, I miss London at my first night in Taipei and think, um
uh, why I pull myself away from an environment I am so used to? Did I make the right decision? What doesit mean by settling down? Would I feel happier if I have a more stable and clear vision?

Liquid Hand Soap Does Mix with Hair

As expected, I forgot to buy shampoo last night. I was thinking very hard about what type of alternatives I could have. Laundry detergent? Dish wash liquid?

Liquid hand soap is far better choice and it does work.

Bar Soap and Hair Does Not Really Mix

I was almost wanting to scream when I found out both shampoo bottles were empty this morning. I had no other choice but to wash my hair with the SOAP. It was a really strange feeling, it is really hard to apply the soap evenly on my hair. It took me several minutes to bubble up my whole head, since I am using the body soap for my hair, I might as well do the body bit.

Things went OK and I didn't smell too bad. When I tried to rinse off the soap on my hair, all the bubbles were gone, I swear it was all smooth and good-smell few minutes ago!! Nightmarishly, my hair was hard and dried as rocks and tangled as bird nest.

Need to remember to buy a bottle of shampoo today.

Anglee Joey

I was a bit stressed because of the move and I basically abuse those I spoke over the phone. Those poor people are from telephone company, TV license company, shipping company, concil tax office, utility company. The typical conversation goes like this

me: "Why is the application form/my deposit/cancellation order not here yet?"

poor customer service representitive (abbr. PCSR): "They are processed in order... "

me: "But I have notified you few weeks ago!" in high volume

PCSR: "We are trying our best.."

me: "Look, you are getting paid to explain this to me while I am using my time to get to the bottom of the issue, it is ridiculous!. I seem to get different answers every time I speak to different people, that is the way you conduct your business? " in higher voice, I deep breath and continued "If I don't get what I want, I am not paying for the last bill".

PCSR: "It is up to you, you will still not get what you want..."

me: "GREAT SERVICE!!" I finally screamed and wish I have learned how to swear.

Of course, it didn't get me anywhere, either. I am still waiting for the form/deposit/cancellation order. But I finally realise that I could be nasty and bitchy.

Too Much Drinking

Crazy Women Show Room - we started our marathon drinking session around 6. We drank through the very last trains, I have to keep all my guests. We then pulled out the leftover roast and started to munch on it around midnight. No one wanted to sleep yet, fine, let's open another bottle of Madira. Finally too tired to do anything when the short hand turned 4.
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Foul-Mouthed Pikachu

Having dinner with Oleg, Marta, Eugene and hyperactive Norwagien guy. I was not feeling too good after the Indian foods, proabably it's because of too much wine...
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Eugene was talking about how swearning words in your native tongue has more emotional impact than the foreign launguages. For me, I think they are equally bad. Interestingly my brother and I never ever swear in Cantonese, Mandarin or English. It could be because our parents swear quite often (especially my father), we make very good effort not to use any bad words.

Perhaps one day we will explode and vomit out all the indecent words.

Monsters on Buses

There was only one bus goes from my neighbourhood to my high school when I was in Taipei. The bus was inevitably crowded since it went through several high school in the west side of Taipei. That was quite an experience because I had never gone out of my neighbourhood without adults' company as a 14 year old.

Many classmates complaind about some indecent acts happening to them on a crowded buses, and how they dare not to take any action against those monster. I was picturing what I should do if it really happens to me, and so ready to either hit the monster with my bag or give him a good kick to the shine.

But it never happened throughout my 3-year commute. All my planings had gone in vain.

Sailor Moon

I got this parcel on valentie's day last year. It was sent to SunGard London office from some person inTokyo, whose name was completely unknown to me. I was so curious that I ripped open the package, revealing this school uniform set in the office. My colleagues were all laughing their heads off.

Later that week, I received another parcel from another unknown name, which contains the matching socks and glue stick used to keep the socks in place.

There are many speculations who might be the sender, one of everyone' s favorite is the business analyst in a Japanese bank, who I worked with in New York. He was famous for winning an award of erotic novel competition. My manager at that time was really concerned when sending me to the bank.

Obviously, that is not real school uniform but it could be used in many ways, I was told.

Blow up the Dog

My friend encouraged me to write down all the dog stories I told over several pints. Perhaps one day those stories could be made a book. Here is one of them.

We used to have couple of plant pots right near the entrance to the living room, the area is several steps higher than the garage floor. The dogs are not allowed to get crossed the line into the living room (they are not even permitted to linger near the entrance, my mom would definitely give them a hard-to-forget lesson if they do).

I think we sheltered a stray dog one time and he was very brave in challenging the authority. He loved to dig open the soil in those plant pots and chewed on the roots. Nothing seemed to stop him from doing it again and again. We could only clean up after him.

One slow Sunday afternoon, my father decided to take the action. He showed me how to sand through a little light bulb and fill in some black powders from the firework left over my brother and I collected and stored since Chinese new year. That's the basic of the ignition module. A small firework's ignition thread was inserted into the light bulb via the hole. We then wired a circuit with a AA battery. The circuit switch was weld into two seperate pieces of metal plates. We carefully installed the whole device in one of the pots and lightly spreaded some soil on top of the upper metal plate seperated from the bottom with a plastic spring.

We then went back to the living room and watched TV. Just within half an hour, the dog could not resist the temptation of an unguarded pot and dashed out of the garage screaming after a small explosion.

Translator Needed

Susie stayed with me and, I think, the woman is a terrible bed-mate. Although I am not very good myself (I turn, kick, speak and sneeze when sleeping) but Susie always lets out large amount of gas near the dawn (strange body clock). I tried not to think about the smell but it made such a big sound, the whole bed trembled I thought the earthquack is taking place in my dream.

Finally she went in the shower, I got to have the whole bed myself and tried to catch up some sleep. As I was falling into the deep and sweet darkness, she came back. I said "did you just finish your shower" in Chinese. It took me few seconds to realise I was talking Mandarin to a English speaking person. But it felt so natural the way I expressed my thought.

I was told that I sleep talk in many different languages. It would be very interesting to study how multi-linguals process information in their brains.

Betel Nut Beauties

Javed, myself and Irene... Too much foods, we spent 3 hours eating our Sunday brunch.
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There is an interesting betel nut selling culture in Taiwan. First of all, I need to brief you in about the background of betel nuts. Betel nut tree are very common in southern China and pacific islands, they look like coconut tree but thiner. Betel nut products (fresh betel nut mixed with spices and mineral lime) are used to greet guests along with cigerattes in the old time. They are chewed like toboco, also give betel nut chewers similar dizziness.

In Taiwan, betel nuts are truck or taxi drivers' favorite. It lifts up their spirit and keeps them awake. The interesting bit comes in the glassy stalls selling the betel nut, soft drink and cigerattes. There is always a young girl dresses in sexy outfit and high heel boots. In areas where competition is severe, girls dress even less.

Those girls are not poor and they are not forced to attract customers by dress sexily, they come from all different backgrounds and most of them think they will not stay in this industry for long. Some would return to school yet some become the owner of a betel nut stall.

They work very hard to draw more buyers, such as being very innovative about the outfit. You can see nurse/school uniform or pikachu immitation. The sexy outfit does not only serve the purpose of showing off their fleshes, it is also the ice breaker such that the passing by drivers can have some conversation with those young girls.

Littering

I never understood why people need to use toothpick few years back, now I know....

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There are some very strange things I observe in London, for example, Londoners don't really understand what is recycling. In Toronto, California, even Taipei (not that much of New York, though) people were obsessed with recycling. We carefully seperate the tin cans, plastic containers and glass bottles, patiently waiting for the day of the week to come and bring out the right box for recycling. In London, even pubs do not recycle. You can just imagine the amount of glass bottles thrown into landfills every day. I seem to be the only one in our apartment complex bringing out recycling materials to the collection bins 2 blocks down the road. Oh, I do meet others recycling, we chat about the difficulty to get the used batteries properly disposed, but those were mostly no-Brits.

The other strange thing is some Londoners do not really know littering is bad. Many thanks to concil cleaning service, you always see cleaning staff pushing carts on streets and blocking your way innocently. However, wouldn't it be nice to educate people that littering is wrong and install more trash bins? It was quite shocking when I told Grace and my mom about Londoners' littering habbit while we were looking for a trash bin to dump our Starbucks coffee cups and holder in Taipei. Littering becomes an unacceptable act, along with the concept of recycling in Taipei. You almost feel the pressure from the walking by or your neighbours. However, it is not yet the cleanest city because, I guess, there is no cleaning force as powerful as that in London.

Tabloid Composary Disorder

Unisex bath room sign, ha ha ha
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When I get hold of a magazine, newspaper, the first section I would throw out is the sports section. The next is the definitely the tabloid section.

I have skipped all news about celebrities since very small. I stubbornly think reading it would destroy my brain cells and make me stupid for sure. I even feel great when shaking my head while being asked "do you know who does what and when?".

I understand this is all to create the illusion to myself that I am so intellegent that I don't need to know them. But I still fail to see the importance or get entertained by it.

Drive on the Right but Train Runs on the Left

Just read an article about the train system in Taiwan and China. They run on the left, which is opposite to the side of automobiles. That is the legacy from Japanese railway system built before world war II. Very interesting...

Language Genius

I like, I like, I like cider....
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I think every one has some friends who can manipulate language so skillfully. They read faster, understand a passpage slightly differently from you, they produce more interesting essays or develop deeper meanings out of something ordinary.

That is definitely a plus for life if possessing such a skill.

Information Filtering

I was told a very interesting experiment. Babies were shown two different pictures of monkeys, in which the differences are not detectable by naked eyes. The 6-month old could tell the difference but not the 1 year old. We learn to ignore the unimportant information and concentrate on the survival-related ones. In this case, human faces are far more important to babies than monkey faces.

We only comprehand, understand, remember whatever we feel important. No wonder communication is difficult before we can synchronise our emotion with our audience.

Brokeback Mountain

Another very well-made movie, althought I can hardly understand the protagonist's talking (he has this thick mid-west accent and he mumbles all the time). The tension and love between Jake and Heath are beautifully beautifully depicted. Their emotion for each other is so intense that I have not seen in heteralsexual ones.

Heteralsexual relationship can be contemplated as a chemical reaction involved an active and an inert elements, which attract each other gradually. The negative and postive charged electrons marry and neutralised. It ends up in a harmonious and peaceful state. The gay relationship is like the explosive reaction when two active elements are forcibly locked up in one space. They fight, they compete and ignites the explosion with no boundries.

I was thinking the same analogy for lesbian love. How the chemistry happens for two inert elements?

Old Friend From Toronto

Andy was going to the same high school with my aunt, Feng. They become such a good friends with each other in despite of the huge age difference.

Andy went to the Ontario Arts and Design college and always told us shocking yet interesting stuff. One of his friends came out from the men's room, face white as paper, because he saw 4 legs in one toilet stall.

In his performing art class, the final project presentation was hilarious. Some guy performed bleeding (although he had to leave early before the class finished), some guy performed being slapped by the electric fan, some guy walked to the instructor, rolled up his trousers, grab the handful of hair and pulled.

In math department, we only have geeks who forgot to shower for weeks in summer.

Meat Craving

We had a New Year's eve party in my brother's place. This steak was cooked so well and we had to take a picture of it.

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Interestingly I stop my meat craving recently. Well, it might be also because my cooking skill is deteriorating. Every procedure seems pointless to me. Why bother chopping garlic or fresh herbs? Why bother marinate the meat in brine (to maximise the the flavor by infusion)? Why bother thinking how to incorporate different flavors like articulating an abstract data type? But I hate artificial processed foods even more, I only work on whatever I have in the fridge (because if I don't eat them, they will turn bad). I throw a piece of frozen meat in the microwave and cook it up with high heat, eat it with soy sauce, 4 ciggaretts and 5 TV programes.

All of sudden, meat smells very bad to me. The texture was not very pleasant to my teeth and some fibre always manage to stuck in between the molars. I have no other choice but trying to be more creative with pickled, fresh veggies. But I feel hungry in shorter time interval...

Castrophobic?

My mother's innovative child care methods. During summer time, she left XiaoHo with a bucket of water in the balcony and XiaoHo would happily play with all kinds of containers (he was not bought any toys since he was born but second-hand toys or our everyday life objects, such as empty shampoo bottles and so on). Then my mom would be freed to prepare dinner for half an hour.

In winter time, XiaoHo gets to enjoy the hot water bath in the same bucket. Because he is so small, we only need to fill up the bucket half full. He would come out all warm and red-faced after 10 minutes.

He is born a happy kid, never fussy, trying hard to enjoy every aspect of life as much as he can.

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I think it is quite common for people to get aggressive, unkind and nasty when they are behind the wheel. Since a car provides a closed environment and the driver is taking full control of its direction, it consequently gives the driver a false sense of authority and power. I guess it is not unusual to see your friend become a monster when he/she is driving.

What I want to say is that you are not going to teach any one a lesson (or change the world) by driving agressively, changing lanes freqently (although your reason is to minimise the time driving on the same road with a bunch of idiots) or tailgating those who you think unfit to be on the road. You are putting the passengers and people who share the road with you in more danger when you drive like a lose canon.

Traffic in Taipei

I found a book written by a Japanese girl who lives in Taipei. She had many amazing discoveries by seeing life through a pair of Foreigner's eyes. She's found lots of things I have never noticed before. For example, she heard people farting when exercising in the park in the morning (she described it as the human trumpet). The sound is so interesting to a girl who came from a place no one dare to make such sound in public. She observed that people don't really need to pay any respect to the person who is singing in Karaoki, which is unforgivable in Japan. Etc., etc..

Some Taiwanese find it very insulting but I think it is terrific. She is very observant and sharp in asking questions. Taiwanese are extremely care-free and liberal, quick to react without thinking much about the consequence. I have to blame my quick temper on this. Japanese culture is very anal and being discreet has come to some sort of art. The contrast is huge and interesting.

She's mentioned that Taiwanese are not afraid of danger or losing our lifes, yeah, she was talking about the traffic in Taipei. There is such a strange and subtle balance on the streets. It look chaotic, messy as if all drivers on the road are just out of mad house. Nevertheless, accidents don't occur as frequent as you would imagine.

The car in front of you might change lane without signaling, the one driving on the inside lane wants to get off the motor way all of sudden, granny riding a motorcycle was going in the speed of a snail but didn't notice she's block your way? And many many many... I would never think those crazy dirvers assholes because they are bred by the culture I deeply recognise. Of course I would hope things can get more organised in the near future.

Disposable or Reusable?

Really high quality disposable underwear

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When getting home from my long vacation, I routinely took a shower and found no clean underwear because my laundry is also on vacation. I had to use my emergency measure, disposable undies! They are not the best quality but do work.

Long time ago, my mother thought it would be hygenic for me to pack several of those when I went camping. Everything worked out fine until the last day a group of 10 year olds were let loose in the beach. All of us were soaking wet by the time the teacher managed to get us back to the bus.

It was not too good because those diposables were made of paper at that time.

My Cousin's Wedding

Everyone was critising my hair style, even including my uncle who is insensitive to fashion (he was bold and had his head shaved). I was dragged to a beauty saloon in my mother's earliest convenience in order not to disgrace our family name any futher. _______________________________________________________

I ran from the airport to my uncle's place in TsinSaShui and straight to the banquet hall in MongKok. The banquet hall is in the 42th floor of a hotel building. Well, I changed in my uncle's place, managed to put on some make up and shuffle in several fresh-made raddish cakes at the same time.

The wedding banquet in Hong Kong is not very different from Taiwan, except they do like playing Mah Jang before serving the food.

The invitation would clearly states that the host would greet you at 6 and the feast starts at 9. The time between 6 and 9 is really for people to socialise. I was starving and my auntie (Jennifer and Sandy's mom, the Taiwanese bride married my Hong Kong uncle) gave me a bag of super sweet tangerines (she's got nerves to bring a bag of fruits to the wedding and, of course, I should have the nerves to eat them).

It is so nice to see my Hong Kong cousins, I have not met with them for almost 8 years. They have grown... My younger cousin dressed in a beautiful gown, I couldn't take my eyes of my my younger cousin's chest. I poked them with disbelief "are they real"? My brother was really embarrassed and swore he doesn't know me.

During the meals, the young people inevitably took charge of entertainment. They played games on the Groom and Bride. The more embarrased and silly they look, the better.

Stage 1, Nothing Really Shocking...

Stage 2, Oh My God!

Posture Overkilled

I went to the Chinese style osteopath clinic in Taipei with Irene and Peggy. My backpain was almost gone after the hot water bottle treatment but I am very curious about traditional Chinese way of sorting out muscle ache or sprang ankles. Although growing up in Taiwan, I rarely visit any Chinese doctors. Well, my brother and I have been healthy kids was also one of the reasons.

The clinic is very different from dentist practice or surgery that we know of. There is no smell of antiseptic or bleach. There are only 3 KungFu masters and 5 massage beds (2 masters were absent that night). The waiting and treating areas is only seperated by a low bookshelf filled with comic books. It is quite shocking to see how the treatment is carried out. The masters twist and stretch and pull and fold the patient's body. At the same time, the patients howl in controlled volume, I guess it really hurts.

The masters are all around their 20s. However, unlike those stereotype 20 something, they are very patient, amiable, modest and big-hearted. Perhaps the long history of KungFu training and meditation disguises their true age, but they are indeed very nice people.

After a long wait, it is finally my turn. I told the master how my back and knees hurt sometimes, he looked at me and asked "how old are you?". Well, the real reason of my back pain revealed itself when the master made me lay flat on my stomach and felt my spine. My pelvis is obviously protruded (which may explain why my bottom is sticking out). Since I don't have hunch back, which normally happens in case like this in order to balance, the muscle in my lower back contracts most of the time to obsorb the pressure.

I was folded, pulled in many directions for around 15 minutes. This is the technique widely used to loose the joins. The master then corrected my sitting and standing postures. Well, I have always forcibly straightened my back because I think it is the right thing to do, it turned out I could have straight back easily if relaxing and letting my upper body lean backward a bit.

Am I Getting Weak Or Something Else?

I was riding my cycle to work as usual this morning. Just after going through the Limehouse overpass, the cyclist behind me called "Stop! Stop!". I stopped and looked at him with suspecion, who parked just after me.

"Your rear tire is flat, it is going to damage the rim". He pulled out the air pump and fixed the rear tire and then the front one. I don't know what to say, but kept saying thank you and thank you. We split and wished each other a marry Xmas.

Amazingly, the bike becomes so light that I can shift gear easily. I thought I was getting weak because going uphill or faster has been difficult to me recently. It turns out it is only because my tires are flat!

A Cow Riding a Motorcycle

Party in Mai's house. I ate too much food and got on the wrong-direction train twice on my way home.
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I am not able to shake off the cold since Sunday night. Maybe getting on the wrong train twice tramatised my immune system. There is one Chinese saying goes "Sickness comes like a mountain crumbles, it goes away like taking the thread out of cotton ball".

I hate being sick, it is really hard to concentrate and I feel very weak.

Power Corruption

It is very curious why some politicians would make stupid and emotional remarks in front of media. I don't think their voice coach teaches them to talk that way. Some explain it is because the enormous stress to be elected or re-elected.

As an average person, I really could not understand the pressure. No one is going to die if she/he fails to keep the seat! Obviously, politicians are so mentally ill that they cannot understand what is wrong to be aggressive, nasty and ill-mannered.

Another sad story about a Taiwanese woman in power. She had 2 kids without getting married and claimed she's got the spern from a donor. However, media found out that she had this 10-year relationship with her body guard, an indigenous person, who is the father of her two children. In Taiwan, the indigenous people are usually considered less-educated and tend to be in the bottom of the social classes. They were very in love and being her body guard seems to be the only way for them to be togother. They broke up soon after the news broke.

I think she is insane. Power and fame have damaged her brain.

Is it Genetic Or Something Else?

Very puzzled....

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During the dinner on Saturday night with anthropology professors from other European countries, one Japanese post doc mentioned the strange phenomena he observed in his field study in Taiwan, Taiwanese men are extremely nice to their girl friends, they even carry their handbags in a fear it is going to burden the girls. The other post doc thinks it is because Taiwanese men are raised to pursue only financial success thus fail to develope into an all-rounded person. If you ask them "what is your hobbie?" or "what is your opinion about this", you might be frustrated. On the opposite, Taiwanese girls have less baggage and are free to grow in many other interesting aspects. It is like the A class tennis player really does not want to play with a C class player. The C class player has to try harder to be in the game. The conclusion is that men would not seek for partners who are stronger and more sophisticated than they are.

I was really upset because I think how to feel good and confident cannot be measured by how much money you bring home. I don't understand why it would be difficult for a man to have a girl friend who are stronger mentally or financially. I can understand it could be related to power balance in a relationship, but says who men should always be the bread winner and always on top? A relationship should be more in a cooperative dynamics. If earning more money and always being on top is the only way for men to feel happy and assertive about himself, I am sorry, I think he has a probelm.

Rabbit and Vegetarian

On Saturday night, we all went to a Chinese restaurant after the seminar. I think one of the speakers is a vegetarian and he had two veg dishes. One grad student said he could not stand vegetarians jokingly and mentioned how much he wants to lock up a vegetarian and a rabbit in a room.

I asked "So they can fight for the carrots?".

Yokiko

I met Kim last night in Mai's house party. She is very outspoken and cheerful person. She told us that she had a Japanese name, Yokiko. Her Japanese friend gave her that name, which means "Snowwhite".

"Is it because your complexion is very delicate?" We asked. She replied "No, he thinks my brain must resemble a field white as snow.".

The Powerful Pause

I usually spend my Saturday afternoon in National Gallery, joining the 1-hour guide tour and going through 5 or 6 paintings. The guides are volunteers and seem to take their shift at random. They look like retirees who enjoy teaching.

Getting your idea across, receiving the echo/approvals/recognition and, thus, building up the bondings between strangers is great. It might be the only quick and clean way to feel belonged to a group or even own a group. We want to fit in so much that we teach, or be taught.

My favorite tour guide looks at his late 60s. He appears confident and perfectly passionate about histry and art. However, if you look at him in his eyes you'll find that he looks beyond you when talking. He talks with very confident pause in between sentences. He is not searching for words, I think, that is his strategy to draw his audienc's attention. He pauses and stares at a painting as if he is admiring it all over again. And we are all impatiently wanting to know what he has found this time.

Ice Hockey

I was told that ice hockey team actually has a position called "enforcer". The guy does not do anything but to beat up those who try to hurt the star player. How cool is that.

Hockey Stop

My Miffy key chain scared Lukas. Miffy bad, bad!

p.s. Michael thinks it was me that scared Lukas, I think he might be right.
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It was really nice to ice skate in open air. Although the ring is small (half of the hockey field) and the rental skates are not very comfortable, I really enjoyed going around the ice. Each stroke propelled me forward a bit and I gained little speed. I cut through the crowd and cold air. I could not help but smile to the air, this reminds me of winter in Toronto so much. A clean happiness.

Yield Curve Genertion

Hello Christopher! Long time no see! How are you?

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I was getting a bit angry with Sarig this morning when we were discussing the yield curve generation. I don't know a lot about mathematical finance but I have been working with zero curves since starting to work.

Sarig came from pure engineering background, obviously has less experience about the subject than I. But he refused to take me seriously. He thinks only the proper quant on the first floor can do the math of yield curve generation. That really upset me.

I started to be nasty and attacked his every single statement, pointing out the logical errors and throwing lots of jargons such as "2-factor term structure model", "martingale measure" and so on. He felt the heat and kept arguing with me.

At the end, he asked me why I became so nasty and this conversation does not help him to learn anything at all. I felt very very embarrassed. Am I trying to prove myself by putting down others? What is to get if I win every arguement? Why am I uncomfortable when people underestimate my ability, especially those who cannot give me my pay rise? I apologised immediately.

I do appreciate Sarig brought it up right away. He is a veyr nice guy and I bought him coffee later. I think I will remember this incident for very long time.

People Talk Their Guts Out but Not Listen

Almost thought that's a KFC

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Or communication itself is a very difficult thing to do. I think communication is more than getting your idea across, it is also a process for two parties to reach an agreement on certain issues. When standing on the common ground, we feel level (literally) with the other person, perhaps, that's the time we can start shooting thoughts and not to worry they are going to miss the target.

Interestingly people are very eager to talk, not really ready to accept others' opinions. I found keeping silient and staring at the talker with an expression-less face is very powerful. At least I am secretly entertaining myself, just to think how long it takes for him/her to realise I don't understand him/her at all. I stop to smile and pretend being interested, after all, that's for those in their 20s.

The Secretary

I think the movie, the secretary, is very well made. Edward Grey is a lawyer, always replacing his secretaries. He is the most isolated person on earth, thus, incapable of accepting or giving (perhaps the later causes the former). Lee Holloway just got out of the mental institute for her self-multilation habbits, which is her only mean to release herself from cruel reality. She became his secretary. She fell for him.

I can see why Lee fell in love with Ed (because she's narrated it at the end of the movie, quoted later). I think Edward is, on the contrary, the most mysterious character. He lives a perfectly normal live, with slight compulsory disorder symdroms. But why is he incapable of opening up? Why he is fond of Lee and responded her hunger strike? Is it sexual? Is it finding someone willing to give him the full control? Is it Lee's complete trust turning him on? The film does not answer those questions.

Quoted from the Lee Holloway: "One way or anohter I always suffer. I don't know why, I only know I am not scared of suffering now. I feel more than I ever felt. I found someone to feel with, to play with, to love. I hope he knows I know he is suffering, too."

Cycling Home

Oh, that's the party time in Sunny California.

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I cycled home on my every-day route, had my music with me, I padelled in my own slow pace. I was taking a sharp turn before the cross over near Limehouse. There was a cab dropping off passengers on the right side of the street, and car behind the cab tried to take over it, which came in my direction.

The driver slowed down and rolled down the window as we passed each other very closely. I thought he is going to ask for direction and I was ready to help. Instead, he yelled "this is one way street" and I felt so upset and angry. My first reaction was to shout to the back of the car as it drove away "IT IS NOT!".

My voice was so loud in the quiet street, I even scared myself a bit. As I biked away, I started to think if that is really an one-way street, well, I am not sure anymore.

Oh Well, Something could be Bad

My mom never gets the time zone difference right, she rang me up 5 am this morning and I have not fully recovered from all the drinking the night before.

I took a shower and found my calf was in pain. Well, it took me few minutes to investigate what it is. It turns out my calf was burned by my hot water bottle. Also found another bruise on my leg, only to remember that I tripped over my bed.

Cheer Up, Nothing can be So Bad

Very interesting face I had in this picture.
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I actually trimed my hair myself sometimes, but always denied it. Perhaps I should get my hair professionally done this time.

Piece of Cake

The old Victorian tradition, putting a piece of wedding cake under the pillow would bring good luck to the unmarried. Some genius figured out a better implementation: eat the cake and put the pillow on top of your tummy.

Animal Cruelty

I don't understand how I could sleep in this shrimp mode.

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It is possible to send your Thanksgiving turkey money to some charity so they can send the old turkeys to a farm, live until they die.

I had read an interesting story about turkey one time. Hong Kong was one of the first few places in China where western holidays are celebrated. There was a little boy always wants to try turkey. He nagged his mom for years. The mother was pictured as the typcial Hong Kong mom: loud, chobby, industrial, economical, always nagging about the importance of studying hard yet very warm, one of my favorite character in the story.

Anyhow, she happened to find a big oven on sale and finally bought the turkey in one Thanksgiving. They spent 3 days to defrost it and 6 month to finish the whole bird. (Well, a lot of you might not understand how could this be true, but I can assure you this could be very true in Chinese household. The unfinished meat is packed and frozen for future consumption). The mom made so many different dishes with the turkey meat, but the little boy could not help but felt great relief when the last piece of bond was thrown out.

A turkey's life is less than 3 months from hatched to slaughter, but the little boy had accompanied the bird more than its life span.

Hanging out with a Group of Strangers

Keny, Cathy's brother, was amazed that I've lived alone for many years. He thinks hanging out with people round our age group is the essential part of our social life. He aggressively fixed me up with his friend, Joan, who moved to London from Hong Kong only recently. Interestly, Keny and Joan have never met themselves.

My flamenco lesson was cancelled on this Friday evening because our instructor was sick. I went along the gathering. We met in China town, along with 5 other friends. Joan has an intensive network of friends in London already, I only then realised I am the only one needs help in their eyes.

This group of young Chinesse professionals eat Chinese foods, listen to Chinese pop music and carry designer watches, hangbags, outfits. I almost feel bad for the first time pulling out my not-so-in-fashion mobile phone. Living in London does not change theirHong Kong life style, I cannot help but start thinking what makes them happy? Recreating the we-are-still-in-Hong-Kong illusion is the most interesting challenge. The goal is to be more Hong-Kong than anyone lives in Hong Kong.

I understand how difficult it is to melt into this western culture, especially british main stream. Hiding behind our own kind seems reasonable yet natural. Nevertheless, something does not appear too positive.

Absolute Righteous

Giving a lecture of credit curve construction in New York. People were making fun of my scotish style wool skirt, well, it is a bit on the short side.

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Had lunch with Brian, who is my fellow Canadian and Waterloo graduate. He is the most upright person I have ever met (apart from my cousin, Jennifer). He was telling me one time he was having lunch in restaurant, and the fire alarm went off. People just packed up (some even picked up the unfinished pizza) and leave. No one seemed to have any desire to go back to the store and pay the bills. Brian felt really bad and wanted to go back and pay for his food. Only the thought that the restaurant might ask him to pay for his friend put him off the crazy plan.

I sometime wonder what can breed this righteous attitute? Being honest is of course important but I do believe our being honest is inspired by the fear of being found dishonest by others. Suppose we can get away with the petty crime for sure, I think most people would not give back the wrong change the teller gave you.

Nevertheless, I do respect this quality because I think I am somewhat crooked .

The Tin Bowl

It is interesting that I thought about a childhood friend this morning. His mom worked in my dad's small factory and he was only 4 or 5 years old then, I was 10ish and Mankit was 12. We fought all the time. We basically hated each other and never wanted to make peace. Our small dewellings was seperated into two parts, the front bit was the living room/office space and the back bit was the 3 bedrooms/factory. My parents double bed was right next to 2 or 3 machinaries.

We constantly had guests, workers roaming around our bedrooms, kitchen and hallways. To top up the chaotic situation, Mankit and I collected at least 5 or 6 stray dogs in our garage. Each dog would have to dine seperately. My poor mom fed those dogs with our leftovers in some old tin bowls. We had a new set of identical tin bowls in our kitchen. My mom once serve the hot noodle soup in one of those tin bowl but that little kid had always refused to eat from the bowl.

Good Fun?

Irene spot this-good-looking police officer and took a picture of him without his knowledge. Well, girls are too very visual sometimes.


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When I was few years younger, I thought the real good fun is related to those unexpecting, totally exciting, wild, complete out-of-boundary events or items. A vacation needs to be full of programs, there should be no time wasted. I was like a bold and blunt object, struck any possibility of having good time. I didn't find really interesting things often. Disappointments are abundant.

Some of my friends think I am not aggressive enough to expend my social circle. I am really lazy in that aspect. But I would rather conserve my energy on some good books than try to make friend with a stranger. Being pursued, pursuing and playing the dating game well means good fun? What type of society breeds this type of feeling good factor is beyond me.

I don't like to spend on luxurious goods or gadgets (just read somewhere a London single female celeberity claims she does not like to pay discounted price). It is a very hard concept for me to understand why a few hundred pound hangbag could make someone really happy (I would rather see those money grow in a high-yield saving account).

Good fun is in every day life, a good cup of tea is great fun (only before 3pm), a nice TV program (did you see the BBC documentary life in undergrowth, I was holding my breath for almost the whole hour) or a great piece of scone. Good fun is hanging out with your mates, good fun is meeting a long lost friend on a strange street in another country. Good fun is being nagged by your parents why you are not dating anyone.

Secret Weapon

I love cooking, oh, rather, I love foods.

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In the cold, windy Friday night, our group were about to leave for the pub near the office. I put on my peruvian hat and joked this is my secret weapon against the cold. David M. immediately replied that he too has a secret weapon then produced a chapstick, lavishly applied it to his lips. "That's so gay!" I cried. He threatened he is going to bring this to HR and I was laughing.

Later as we walked toward the pub, my line manager asked me what David was complaining about, before I finished the story, he too fished out the chapstick, applied to his lips and asked "then what?"

Sam died of age 14

The world's ugliest dog passed away on the 15th November. I am really sad and showed it to my colleagues. Sarig looked at Sam's picture and asked "Is this picture taken after Sam died?"

Running into a Table

I think the really cool stuff working in a bank is that they usually have quite well-maintained canteens. For instance, Nordea Canteen has the most wonderful breads (fresh baked) and tens of different types of salads. Featuring cured herrings, pate, all kinds of cold cuts and fresh leaves. It is very typical Nordic, the ingredients are top quality and not much non-sense about processing.

There is a canteen in my building, serving foods around the clock. In the morning, you can get yourself fried/porched/scrambled eggs, sausage and hash browns. At lunch, there are several stations serving pasta, roasted chicken or freshly made sandwiches.

I decided to indulge myself with the greasy fried egg. Dressing in skirt and heels prevented me from looking too keen and ethusastic about foods. I waited impatiently for the cook to fish the egg out of oil sea. "Just let the oil drip a bit more" I instructed the cook, "Well, don't worry about the plate, just put it on top of my bread". Very confident and in control I was.

I then turned away from the egg station briskly only ran into the ledge of the adjacent station. I cried "OUCH" because it really hurt, but luckily my egg and bread were still intact. It must appear painful because some of those queueing for eggs gave their condolence with giggles.

I Love Alcohol

Coming back from Tahoe, it was a one day trip (set off at 4am and headed back from the slope around 5pm, by the time we got back to bay area, it was usually 11ish). Taking a break in a small town before Sacremento. The picture was taken almost 5 years ago. There have been so many changes...

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There is a type of Chinese rice wine, its name means "Daughter Scarlet". When a girl was born, the family would make the wine, store it in big pottery jars and barry them under ground. The wine would be dug out and served on the girl's wedding day.

If the girl couldn't live up to the age of getting married, the wine would still be dug out and sold for money (I don't know if this is true, I just make it up. It is only logical that Chinese would not waste anything). The wine is then named differently, it means "Flower Fade". I always think the name is so tragic yet beautiful.

Because unmarried girls would not have a proper position in a family worship practices (in other words, her existence could not be acknowleged, thus, she would not be remembered), wealthy families usually pay a man to marry a piece of wood with her name engraved on. Many spine-chill ghost stories sterned from this practice.

Toilets Stories

The distance from China to high tea might be long...
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If you have spoken to Irene, you would immediately understand she is very "Green". In Taiwanese political terms, Green means those who do not want to see unification and who do not like Mainland-related things.

As the super salewoman and manager to her father's garment business, she worked in Mainland China and managed the factory with few hundreds workers. The first thing she did when going on board was to install partitions in toilets and insisted in seperating female and male ones. I have never been to those areas, it is very hard for me to imagine why. She then explained to me, in her factory, there were hundreds of people coming from rural inland provinces, where education and information were not accessible. Doing the business in open space is so convenient yet no one thinks inapropriate. What surprised both Irene and me is the fact that women did not feel the need to hide themselves.

My mom went to my father's home town in late 80s. It was still very conservative and communism-geared. Government officials praised non-stop my mom's beauty because she is chobby. Anyhow, she couldn't use the open-air toilet (which is a hole on the floor), she then unfolded her umbrella but this act attracted more people to watch.

Irene was travelling to the medium size city near ShangHai in early 90s, the queue to a single toilet was consisted of people of both genders. They all dressed nicely but there was one woman, still waiting in the line, but had her skirt pulled up and panty-hose down. I guess it does save some time if you are really in a hurry.

I don't understand what could make a woman losing her sense of being a woman. Is it the great culture revolution? Or is it the hardship all Chinese went though from beginning of this centry until recent?

Allergic Induced Eczema

Never used facial cleanser or toner at my graduation

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The breakout was unbearable on Friday. It is funny the skin condition is only bad during weekdays. On Friday, during the lunch break, I was determined to find a cure in Boots. I tried to explore the stair well in our building, finding the entrance to the stairwell was a no brainer, I just followed a guy, but he then walked out to the first floor, which I have no access to. The only exit to the ground was alarmed, I cannot risk my reputation on that. I finally gave up and went back up to my floor and then took the lift... 10 minutes gone.

I ran to Boots, spoke to the pharmist and showed her my face. I can see her sympathy welling up in her eyes "how did you do to your face"... Yeah, it was really bad. She recommended some allergy drugs and it worked!

Interesting thing is we only get to know our body when something really bad has happened (we then realise we need to find the source of the problems). Also, it could be age-related.

I find myself keep looking at people's face sometimes, thinking, how nice it would be to have skin like that. Inevitably, I turned to some more immediate cure this Saturday. I bought myself the first pack of concealer! The powder is so magical that my face start to glow under sevearl blush strokes. Cosmetic industry is like a dream factory. Wow!!

Names Are Very Important...

Chinese parents have lots of imagination and creativity when coming to find a good name for their child. Unlike western parents, who has only limit set of name to search from, Chinese parents are free to roam around the hundreds thousands of Chinese characters, putting together any 2 characters (the combinations are limitless). There is never any restriction or custom how a name should be. You can create the most interesting yet unique name ever... What an exciting thing just to think about it!

Some of my friends have very good names. For example, Irene's name, Yuang-Ying, means "a delicate and graceful study" + "sparkling with wisdom just like jade". Claire Hsiao's name is "I-hon". "I" means one in number, also it is the start of any form of life or lifeless objects. It can be the smallest but has the limitless implication. "hon" means broad, usually used to describe a person's mind.

My name is "Kun-Er". "Kun" means "ying", everything opposite to "yang". Suppose the sun is "yang", then the moon is "ying". If the sky is yang, then the earth is ying. "Er" sometimes means nothing at all, this word is used by northerner a lot but rarely by southerners. It is a helper to finish a single noun, to make it sound richer. But sometimes it can mean offsprings. I guess my name can be interpreted as "offspring of the earth".

Just Like What They Do in Discovery Channel

I heard this song when I was in California, it went like "let's do what they do in Discovery Channel". But I guess the song writer might want to think twice if he/she has read the book "How Animals Have Sex".

I was giggling like an idiot in Borders. For example, a sort of rain forest frogs need to mate for 6 months, which might have inspired tantric sex. After the male bee mates with the queen, his genital would be stucked inside her. Yeah, he can be seperated but his gential would be pull out of his body with his guts spilling all over. It is said to stop mating with another bee taking place. The most amusing one is the octopus. The male octopus is too shy to touch his girl friend, he has this detachable sperm-explosive penis. He cuts it off and shovels it to her through her nastral, he would then die soon after.

The book also briefs about female chimps' promiscuity. It claims, by sleeping around, the female chimp could confuse her partner at the time so that he would not knock out her offsprings from other males.

North and South

Happy birthday to Miffy!
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It is very tricky for southerns in China to make decent bread. Southerners are so used to rice, to them, noodles and bread are like imported goods from another country. Interestingly, in Taiwan, there are large population need to have the bread fix in the morning.

That is because when KMT moved to Taiwan in the 50s, they have brought with them lots of northerners. They all cramped in a small island and some of them started small business selling breads and soy milk in the morning. I was drawn to it in my early teens.

I love the pure, no nonsense nature of their bread. The making is usually very simple, no fermentation but patience. You can taste the simple, ample nature of the browned wheat and seaseme. There was one of those breakfast store near my house in Taipei. The bread master is obviously the down symdrom sufferer. His name is "Yu-Hu", "yu" means to have, and "hu" is the nickname of ShangHai. From his name, I could almost guss his parents must be from Shang Hai, thinking one day they will be going back to ShangHai one day (however, the plan was delayed indefinitely).

The fluffyness of the bread is not from the gas genreated by fermentation, it is really from the mixture of water-based dough and oil-base dough. It needs lots of patience and endless kneading.

Taiwanese Girls

Very interesting door knots, aren't they?

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I always want to write about Taiwanese girls. I think they are the most care-free, adorable and silly spices among all Hong Kong, Mainland and oversea Chinese.

My aunt in Toronto is a typical Taiwanese girl, even though she is in her mid 50s. She enjoys life so much that nothing can stop her from having fun. She went to high school, learn painting and pottery for years, making all her classmates call her auntie. She begged her teacher to flunk her so she could take the same course again.

She loves to travel and never afriad to look a bit silly to make us laugh. I was thinking abou the argument of the prosperous economic environment in the 80s bred the new generation of feminism, but failed to continue when I thought about her. She married to my uncle, Tomas, and moved to Hong Kong in the 80s and then Toronto. Very difficult transition to get into a complete different culture, but she thrives and never minds what people think (yeah, she took me and my cousins to the water world theme park, she made us change to bathing suits under the big towel in a queue so we won't miss our turn to go on the water slide. I was 19 years old, old enough to feel embarrassed).

She always trying very hard to have as much fun as she could afford. Expense is not the concern although not rich. Getting the experience is worth buying the front row tickets to any show is her motto.

Thinking about this, I can quite easily observe these quantities among a lot of my friends. For example, Irene, keeps encouraging her boy friends to quit his demanding job but offers to work as a waitress. Well, in her mind, being with her love is far more crucial to her life than having lots of money. They are usually super optimistic about financial future and believe life could go on one way or another. They are cool in making silly of themselves, none the less, they are very determined about how to get what they want. There is no compromise nor middle ground, exceptions are open for love.

They might be outgoing, fun to be with but never let go the chance to be pretty. There is not need to be boyish to go camping, cannoning. Presentation is still important. I enjoy my girly lessons with my aunt, Irene and other friends. We experimented different types of toner, got my ear pierced and went for night gown hunting.

I also observe quite a few career-oriented women, they tend to exercise their feminine advantage when battle is necessary. Very different comparing to women from Hong Kong or Mainland China.

I think I would love to have a Taiwanese girl friend if I were a guy.

Academia Research and General Opinion

Only god knows why Sungard Ditcot office did this to its employees.
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I went to the first Taiwanese Study seminar this year, the topic was the "Taiwanese nationalism and identity developement in post martial law regime and pre matured democracy area under the millitary threat of Mainland China before 2008 Beijing Olympic plus potential bird flu virus spread and ... " Just kidding. The topic wasn't this long.

The visiting professor did a great job to let my attention drift. He is really not a good lecturer, too many "um...", "I think", "you know"... As one of the audience, I can feel the utmost uncertainties in his voice. Just like he is afraid of making any solid statements or he is afriad of those statements would backfire at him later. I almost want to scream "Stop reporting the politcal dynamics between China and Taiwan! Tell me something I don't know! Tell me what you think".

I came to realise why people tend to be opinionate and emotional when discussing politics, it is much more fun than rigid, conservative, logical and mundane academia research. Although it is the right way to go.

Thank You For Those Who Were Nice to My Dad

My father kept sending money to his hometown in mainland China. According to my mother, even when they were just starting their business and life was so tough that my parents could only afford bread for many months, my father kept supporting his friends, relatives in the rural country side near east of Cantone province. My mom and I have been troubled by this act for many years.

My father went through very difficult childhood after communist party took over China in 1950 because the familty possessed lands and my grand-grand father was a judge in KMT's court room. My grand-grand father committed suicide before the police arrest him, my grand mother and her four children were deprived of the right to live like a normal human beings. My grand father was in Indonisia, married to one of his students and didn't want to go home.

In my father's stories, the Liao's family were like carrying some sort of disease that no one in the village would dare to get in touch with, or talk to. There was no income and no help, my father, as the first son of the family, age of 13, went to the forest to chop woods and sold for money. My grand mother could not find any job but to sell her blood to feed her young kids (she could not bear the hardship and drown herself in a pond later).

My father told me, he still remembers all those people who were nice to him during that tough period. Some old lady accidentally dropped a banana leaf wrapped rice ball in front of him. Some person sat down behind my father, back against my father's back, for a while without talking to each other. Some hid my father in the attic when police were searching for him. And many many other stories.

I started to understand how much it means for my father to send money home...

Hot Water Bottle

Had a scissor-biten finger on my left hand and sushi knife on the right, plus a grumpy face.

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I bought a hot water bottle last weekend and it does ease my backpain very effectively. I grow attachment to it day after day, the first thing I do after I come home is now boil some water to feed my dark blue water bottle. I would then hold it, carry it, laptop it, foot it around the living room, kitchen, dinning table, computer area and then my bed.

The cooliest invention of the world.

Haircut Scissors

Um... I think we do have the jokerness blood in our family.


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I went to Susie's for dinner on Saturday night. And I brought with me a pair of thining hair scissors. Susie has mentioned that she didn't have time to visit a hair dresser and it would be great if I can trim her hair a bit. I am usually more than happy to style other's hair. I think I am pretty deft and I quite enjoy seeing how my friends' appearance differ before and after the cut.

I guess the mistake rooted in too much alcohol in my blood stream. After dinner, Peter volunteered to clean the dishes. I said to Susie if she would care to get the cut now. She agreed and fumbled for old newspapers. I suggested she could take off her top and sit at the bath tub rim with me standing in it. No fuss and efficient.

The small toe nail scissors were just not up for the job (they are great with my eyebrows trimming). So I switched to the mid-size thining scissors. I was holding Susie's hair with my middle and ring fingers like the professional but somehow the scissors cut into my ring finger and I continued squeezing, wanted to finish the cut.

The blood came out like small stream but I decided not to make a sound of it (otherwise she would not let me cut the hair). Oh well, it finially finished and I made the casual remark on my wound. Susie was astonished and wanted to put the antisceptic on the wound. I tried to stay calmed and wanted to clean up the hair and blood in the bath tub first. I switched on the tab only to cause cold water coming out of the shower head while I was bending over to pick up the mess in the tub.

My first reaction was to scream bloody murder, Susie was laughing her head off and Peter came in to the bath room to find one half-naked chick, blood stain over the tub and soaking wet joey. He cried "I only left for 5 minutes!".

The Connection Between Eyelashes and the Nose

I think the most uncanning connection I have discovered recently is that between eyelashes and nose. After applying the thick, black stuff on my short eyelashes, the last thing you want to happen is to sneeze. I guess when sneezing, our facial muscles contract in a way that we do shut our eyes tight. The sticky and hard-to-clean mascara ends up in the area below my eyes.

However, my nose does itch after the putting on the mascara and before it dries out. Life is full of unexpected connection.

Needle Fear

My back is like this now.

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My backpain was unbearable again on Saturday when I walked on the street. And I saw this acupuncture clinic.

This was the first-time ever acupunture treatment in my life. The needles the doctor used are as fine as hair and 2 inch long. There were almost 20 needles on my back, bum and legs for 30 minutes. They went in about 1 and half inch deep.

The doctor then used the vaccume cups to pull in the skin over those needles, the force was so strong that it created many circle bruises over my back. Very fun.

The Seven Items to Sort Out

Chinese talk about the seven essential items to get when starting a family/living independently. They are burning woods, rice, cooking oil, salt, soy sauce, vinegar and tea. They are all food related! Nothing about the comfortable bed or hot water bath. Life could be very nice with abundant supply of those essential seven.

Very naive.

I am afraid of teenagers and 20 something people

I think they are fearless, and you don't know how much they know. They are energetic to do anything and while I am so old and tired all the time. They are catching up so fast. I think only aging people would brew this type of feelings against young people.

The other day I phoned home, my dad was again bragging about how cute XiaoHo is. He said "When I was in the super market, many 30 something old women came around me and played with XiaoHo". I was so shocked. I am always my dad's little girl and I just heard my dad addressing females around my age "women".

"But Dad, I am also 30 something". He was also terrified but tried to cover his embarrassment. "You are not the same".

I guess perhaps the only way to preserve little diginity of getting old is to pretend that we know a lot and have experience that you cannot get from reading books. If that fails to arm ourselves, we smoke, drink, eat excessively, we completely give up the fight and lose in self-indulgence.

Hair Style and Chinese Men

I remember my mom's dress.


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I think it is genetic, our hair is usually hard and strong as wire. To make it worse, it is often thick. Westerners' hair is light and etheral as the breeze blowing at summer night, our hair is thick and heavy like the good old winter wool jacket. Ok, perhaps I am biased, I never make peace with my hair. It is unruly, stubborn and it has mind on its own.

Chinese men are not particularly paying much attention to their hair style. I guess that's true for male animals. However, due to the tenacious nature of Chinese hair gene, a lot of my friends always look like they just got out of the bed 10 minutes ago.

My father is an interesting exception. On Sunday morning, he spent long time in our small bathroom, brushing his teeth, washing his face with hot water (he needed to boil water in a cattle for that in the morning, no one else can be bothered to do that in the cold winter morning. We all washed our faces in cold water until I left home for Canada where hot water is abundant). He would then apply the funny-smelled hair wax, carefully part his hair at the side with the 3:7 ratio. The resulting hair style is those you can see in the old movie when men still wore hats and open car doors for ladies. He has kept this style as far as I can remember.

I Like Old People

We got free Champagne again in Granada!

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I went to Miyazaki's animation last weekend, Howl's moving castle. Well, it is not as good as Spirited away (In Spirited away, there are quite a few interesting ideas, such as name is very important to one person, the evil spirit would do anything to make you forget your name and thus, your identity. Such as we all need to learn how to deal with desire, the faceless ghost has lost himself after devouring anything in sight to cure his hunger and emptiness). But in Howl's moving castle, apart from the "love could do anything" stuff, I think one thing struck me very much is how Selvi dealt with getting old.

Selvi was under the spell of the evil witch, she turned into a 60 something old lady. She was not panicking about getting ugly (she was not pretty type but she is very head strong), instead, she learnt to cope with it, even enjoy it. Being an old lady, she is free of many subjective judgements. She seemed satisfied with sitting in the chair staring at the nice scenary for hours.

I like seeing middle-age to old ladies or men. Of course, those happy, nicely dressed ones. If they care how they present themselves in front of others, they must be happy and confident and wise. There is nothing more beautiful then that. I love to see old ladies especially, put on their best dress and go shopping with family or friends, laughing. I think, it takes decades of hard work to age gracefully. They should be those who know how to enjoy life, what is more important to life. Hey, what does really matter if you have been through so much and still happy?

I wish I could steal their wisdom.

Bed Time Struggle

Hello Kitty tortured!

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I never went to bed before midnight when I was a kid. Most of my colleagues and friends enforce the 8 pm bedtime for their youngsters, which really puzzles me.

I think the time between dinner and midnight was the most wonderful time I spent with my family before I went to high school. After cleaning up the dishes, I was free to roam around the street with my friends or my dogs, came home all sweaty and stinky around 9pm. My mom would force me to take a shower. And we all sat together, or lay around the living room to watch TV non stop until 11ish. My brother would usually made some snacks such as boiled pre-cooked dumplings and we all started eating again around 10pm. Definitely no discipline. But I remember the great time laying on my mom's lap and begging her to clean my ears.

Well, it is very natural for a 5 year old kid, that I simply didn't have enough sleep when getting up from bed at 7 am for school One time, when the school bus arrived, the whole family was still sleeping. The teacher had to ring the bell, only to see my mom in pajama, bring out half-sleep Joey, my shcool uniform, socks and shoes.

"Please help Joey dress up in the school bus" she said.

Drving Through Crowded Street

This picture is also my brother's brilliant idea. We were wondering around in Prado Museum in Madrid, and my brother was showing the I-am-so-bored face. This picture of a nice lady drew his attention. Oh, not because of the spectacular bloosom but the little black dot in between them. The fly happened to land there and my brother skillfully captured the moment.

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I was walking around Brick lane this Sunday, which has become my Sunday morning ritual. I love to walk through the second-hand cloth shops, not-taking-shower-for-a-while hippies and flower market. I love to observe people, stall keepers trying to make a deals, shoppers picking fruits, young couples looking for discounted lilies.... Of course, I am on the quest in search of cheap and elegant plotters to decorate my balcony.

Inevitably, some cars would try to drive through the crowded street. Pedestrians definitely have piority (we are bigger in number), I always sympathise the driver.

My mom's apartment in DuanShui locates in the end of a crowded street. Driving through it requires patience, humanity and skill, according to my mom. The street itself is very narrow and there are always cars parking on both side. Pedestrains are forced to walk on the road meant for cars. To top up the complexity, there are also numerous motorcyclist, weaving their way forward in between cars and people.

Day or night, there are old ladies or men, from neighbouring farms, carry the two little buckets filled with fresh vegetables. They set up their little stall right next to the road and start chatting with their friends. They don't really mean to make money but to have some social life. Food stalls spread their sitting area, you can always smell the deep fried fermented tofu or crispy chicken nuggets. Sometimes you see the patient from the hospital nearby walking on the street. They can be identified by their pajama, slippers and medicine bottle (on the wheeled rack, which they push around). Um..., the food in the hostpital must be bad.

I quite enjoy driving through that street for some reason.

Chinese as First Language

I think Cathy looks fabulous in this picture. We were having dinner in the nice garden in the hotel in Nerja. We don't like the city much because it is very touristy but the beach was nice.

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Apart from tones, I think the most confusing bit for westerner is that Chinese does not have the concept of tense. Present perfect, past perfect, continouse, future tenses means nothing to Chinese verbs.

Many friends were so surprised to learn that we don't have tense. The past and future are mixed into present. For example, Dr. Sun Yat-Sen "is" a great man, the text book says. There is no implication that Dr. Sun Yat-Sen has died almost a hundred years ago, as if he is still living with us, watching the same TV channel and listening to the same pop music.

Actually, this concept also applied to Chinese' ancester worshipping. We offer drinks and foods to our ancesters as if we are sharing the same time space.

To Kill or Not to Kill

That was a day of non-stop eating in Toronto. We started our day to have branch in a DimSum place in Richmond hill. We then drove to downtown and hung out in indoor path that connects all office buildings. We walked pass Mache Movenpick, that hosts the best dessert in town, I remember we had the fresh-made Belgium waffle, topped with fresh berries and whipped cream. We then walked around China town and walked pass this great ChiuChow food. The deep-fried tofu cubes has crispy skin and sily interior. We swallowed several of them. Later, we again walked pass the Vietnamese sandwich shop, whose sandwich marries French bagguette and Vietnamese tranditional sour dry cured meat (they even use soy sauce and coriander to dress it up). Too exciting to miss it, we had another treat.

Jen didn't feel so good after the sandwich.

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I remember I used to hang out with a friend in my primary school years. My parents' business made our home not very suitable for 8 years old to hand out, I spent lots of after-school time in her house.

Her grand mom is a devoted Buddhist, she would spend hours kneeing before the Budda status and reading Budda's teaching. Sometimes, she was just repeatly saying all gods' names in small voice. Those names were direct translation from Hindu (I suppose that's the language), which does not mean anything in Chinese. But they sounded very soothing.

One time she asked me to throw a bunch of live mollusk into the boiling pot because killing lives is a unforgiveable sin in her teaching (of course, she is vegetarian only was cooking for her grand children). You will be condemned to hell and not able to elevate yourself out of reincarnation cycle.

My Mom Got Scared...

My father adores children helplessly. The juicer was used to make fresh juice for me and Mankit when we were small, he still keeps it!!

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I was correct when I said that kids are scary. I just confirmed that from my mother. XiaoHo, who is only 18 months old, knows too many things. He has known how to manipulate adults. He clearly undestands his power and how to use them.

He knows adults around him encourage him to learn new things and are all very willing to help him to explore the world. Situation is in favor of him when he wants to batter the Hi-Fi, sits behind the wheels (on my dad's lap) or overturn the basket full of rice. He understands my dad would do anything for him (but not his mom or my mom). In return, he gives my dad the full attention which makes my dad so proud that he has to brag about it to every one, "Look, XiaoHo likes me so much". He dictates what he is going to play, we have no other choice but to follow his lead.

He eavesdrops my parents' conversation. When my dad told my mom that he has to go to the corner store, XiaoHo immediately turned to my father because he knew he stands a great chance to go out with my dad.

My mom starts to feel scared, she thinks she has raised a monster.

We are Lonely Animals

Lonely dog in Barcelona

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I sometime have dreams in which I am the only one who sees what's coming. But other people in my dream seem happy, even having a good time in the crisis.

One of the dreams is in an amusement park, a large pink mechanical bird with a big beak was pecking around. The huge heavy beak dropped in tremendous speed and broke the concrete surface of the ground. Obviously, it was attacking people walking around indiscriminately. What frightened me the most is that they seemed to enjoy the excitment, they even cheered when the beak had spared their heads but hit the ground instead. All I can think was trying to find a basement to hide, I was frenziedly looking for the entrance but to no avail.

I had one of those last night. There was a feast, people were preparing the meal with great excitment. But I somehow figured out the meat were very suspicious and felt great disaster is about to happen. All I could think this time was how to get out of this crazy place.

Running Around

Being a column in Palace Nazarie
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Tomorrow, 7th Oct 2005, is going to be my last day in SunGard. SunGard is my first job out of school, starting on 22nd Oct, 1999. Mike Kirkish was the hiring manager.

I have worked for three different departments, have met a lot of interesting people and have drunk tons of alcohol.

Well, there is never a party without ending.

Gold, Silver and Iron Axes

Pond can be dangerous.



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For those don't know the gold, silver and iron axe story. The real name is "True Wood Cutter". Here you go!!

TRUE WOOD CUTTER
There was a poor man named Mangal. In the day he would cut wood and in the evening he would go to the market with the wood. After selling the wood, with the money earned he could go to the grocery to purchase some things for his house. He was satisfied with his income.

One day he went to the forest to cut wood and climbed a tree at the river bank. While he was cutting the branch, his axe fell into the pond. Mangal came down from the tree and jumped into the pond to find his axe, but he did not find his axe. He was very sad and cried. He had no money to buy an other axe and it was difficult for him to feed his family without any money.

The Goddess of the forest took pity on him and went towards him and said,"Why are you crying my son?"

Mangal said, "My axe fell into the water and how shall I do my work now?"

The Goddess said, "Do not weep, I will bring your axe from the river". So the Goddess jumped into the pond and came out with a gold axe. She asked Mangal is this your axe?

Mangal said," No this is not my axe. I am a poor man so how I can have gold axe?"

The Goddess again jumped into the pond and came out with a silver axe and asked him," Is this your axe?"

But Mangal replied, "No this is not my axe." The Goddess jumped into the pond for third time and came out with an iron axe.

Now Mangal was very happy because it was his very own axe. The Goddess also became happy with Mangal truthfulness. The Goddess said," I am very happy with your honesty and because of that you can take the gold and the silver axe too. Now Mangal was not poor but rich.

Funny face collection

I think we took this picture on our way to Alhambra. I was whinning, complaining all the way through because the hill is so steep. I kept mumbling "I hate hills, I hate hills" and walked in a funny manner to keep myself entertained. But they kinda made all passing-bys smile and made Cathy feel embarrassed.

Great water engineering in Alhambra. Water symbolises purity, essential part of Moorish garden. Sorry to fly off tangent again, but I like water since small, always want to swim whenever possibility approaches. In retrospect, I think I almost drown once or twice in a river, still like open water very much. The clean stream running down the railing, countless number of fountains makes Alhambra very very cool for me.

Cathy, Adil and me. We hung out in Lotfi's sandwich shop every afternoon, I almost learnt how to make proper couscous if we didn't shop too much on the second day. I criticised Lotfi's dirty kitchen and promised to come back later to clean it up.

Came Back from Spain

Cathy had planed everything perfectly, I was just tagging along. We arrived in Barcelona, took the night train to Granada and bused to coast line and Jerez. It is like a quest to get to Jerez because we planed to fly back from Jerez.

We met quite a few interesting people every where we went. The first night, 2 guys chatted up Cathy and I in the street festival. They turned out to be strangely persistant and we agreed to had some coffee with them. Lotfi and Mousti were both Moroccans and Lotfi runs a sandwich shops. Lotfi seemed to know every restauranteurs and pub man in the neighbourhood, we had drinks for free!!

In Granada, we had to dine in a restaurant next to the Cathedral and we were really in a hurry to catch our Flamenco show. The waiter insisted that we should stay for another round of free champaign. Of course, we were late for the show but we have run into a group of Taiwanese tourists who squeeze out two seats for us.

When we were in Alhambra, 2 security guards came around to take pictures for us. One of them gestured coffee, four of us. I only replied with my limited Spanish "Cuanto Vale" and "La Cuanta" (meaning "how much" and "the bill" respectively), which cracked them up. We got rid of the two strange uncles later.

In our last night in Jerez, a guy came around to our table and chatted to us. Funny thing is that he seemed to around to answer our questions whenever we stopped to check out the map.

In Spain, the scenaries are great, the foods are fine. However, I think, what makes this trip the most interesting and memorable are those lovely people we have met over the past week.