What Makes You Want to Poo

I am always curious how laxative makes us want to poo. The western medicine laxatives has many forms, such as to simulate the intestine mucosa, to penetrate stool with more fat and water, to tell intestines not to obsorb water thus hydrate the stool, or to bulk build stool with more fibre.

The Chinese medicine thinks the lung and large intestine are linked. Dr. Lin once told me a case about a nonstop coughing child. After drinking the herb medicine, the child's mother called Dr. Lin with furious voice. "My child was having the diarrhea, the watery feces was all black and stinky!". The doctor then asked "How about his coughing?" The mother replied "Ur..., it's stopped.".

Dr. Lin explained this case examplify the reverse of "Lifting the teapot cap and the tea starts to flow". The cough was induced by congested intestines, once the debris clears up, the "chi" or whatever regains the movement.

Typhoon Came with me to Tokyo

The weather in Tokyo was dramatically different from Beijing, it is humid and sticky, typhoon is coming in town. I had very fond memory about Typhoon in my childhood. Every kid preyed hard the school would be closed the next day. We listened to the news intensively, anxiety level rose as the newscaster annonced one prefecture's school close after another.

Sometimes the weather man was wrong about the gust wind speed the night before, we would have got a beaudiful day when waking up in the morning, and then jumped out to the streets and met up with other equally excited kids in the park. Or if the weather was really too bad, the wind blew up the trees in parks and nonstop rainfall created the flooding, blockout followed, kids could have great time, too. We played with candles in the night when there was no TV but battery powered radio. When the wind and rain died down, we ran to the flooded street, trying to build any floating device with whatever handy (and tried to stand or sit in it). Of course, parents only found out that we were playing in the worse hygene nightmare a few hours later (maybe they were busy bucketing out water or whatsoever), came calling us home and sprayed the sterilizer all over us. Ha ha ha, that was quite fun.

Going back to school after the typhoon vacation was not that fun, we had to clean up the mud-filled classrooms (where the tables and chairs were all disarrayed). And the worse part was the not-very-creative writing class teacher would ask us to write something about Typhoon among all other zillions brilliant ideas of writing.

6 Weeks Away from a Wash Machine

The chipmunks in Lake Louise are very aggresive. Armed with the cute look and gesture (standing with their hind legs with tiny hands folding in front of the chest), they are ruthless mockers. We were sitting at the picnic table, happily devouring the brilliant cheese and bagel, the little devil jumped to our laps, climbed to the table top via our racksack, grapped the peanut butter-crackers package as if there is no one looking.

I immediately associated them with Stephen King's story about a devil squirrel, didn't want to touch them but screamed like a little girl. The squirrel ran away with the peanut butter spread.
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My scheduled project in Taipei was cancelled due to an unexpected Merge and Acquision on the client's side. I then am shipped to Tokyo to help out with another project (I feel deeply sorry for people who follow up my work, I didn't document it very well). My laundry has built up like a volcano waiting to explode. My mom would better handle them if I am home today, :'(.
The first thing I do after arriving the hotel in Tokyo is to put on my plastic gloves (please see my previous post, hotel survival guide) and started hand wash my laundry.

Although we do have allowance for cleaning clothes, like 50 bucks a week, I feel stupid to spend more than the money to purchase my socks to get them washed. Laundry detergent is really amazing, simple steps of soaking and rubbing yield the muddy water with unidentifiable sediments floating on surface. That is very satisfying, hey, I am getting something clean! Rinse, twist dry and hang actually are not that fun, however, cannot be avoided.

Have heard a dirty joke (don't know why I was reading a lot dirty jokes in my youth, have studied most of existing dirty jokes and can immediately recognise any variation of them before the punch line comes up). A couple nickname love making with "doing laundry". One day the guy requested the emergency laundry handling and the girl was busy. When she got around to the guy, he said he has done the handwash.

The Love of a Mother to a Son

Pay attention to the shadow, that's me!

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In my long haul flight to Vancouver, there was a pair of mother and son sitting next to me. The mother looks in her early forties, but giggling like a high school girl while talking to her teenage son. I feel a bit sick seeing it, what is she doing without a mother's supposingly demeanor. Perhaps she is still seeing her adolescent son as a 3-year-old?

I have been thinking how a father/mother should act toward the daughter/son. Confucious teachings taught Chinese that boys and girls should not sit at the same mat since the age of 8. But he forgot to say much about parenting. I have seen cases where the controlling parents bonded together to treat their children as their belongings (parents decided what the children do and who they date, in the name of It-is-all-for-your-good). But nothing is freakier than the special bonding between the opposite sex of parents and children. The incest taboo is heavily encarved in every culture, perhaps that explains why we are so sensitive about it (or it is just me? Typing out the word "incest" is nearly enough to send the chill down my spine).

My father is not a stereotype Chinese father, in the sense that he likes to hug, kiss and even bite us. I was bitten in my forehead and chin as a child. It sure was weird but he was simply showing his passion. I put an end to all those in one winter morning. My father came to my room to wake me up, and I think he was trying to kiss his teenage daughter good morning while she was in bed. I went absolutely blister and kicked him off my bed as hard as I could. He was very hurt (maybe also physically?), and didn't talked to me for a while. We have never touched each other since and I don't regret it. Basically I don't like to have physical contact with anyone but my boy friend, I think. Sometimes the urge to touch someone might be induced by the need to form a quick bonding. This was observed in apes (check out the book "the apes in the offices). Pretty handy gesture for insecured people.

I have heard story that the daughter in law woke up in the middle of night seeing the mother in law sitting in the bed she shared with her husband, stroking her husband's hair and looking at him dreamily. Very revolting.

However, I think there might be less tension between me and my father if we had better handled this undeniable stress between father and growing-up daughter. Yet the other piece of advice to those control-freak parents, go get some life for yourself and stop being a boring person.

A Trap Inside Another Trap

I heard about this book from 2 difference sources. This novel is about the multi-national business operated in the blooming China, to be exact, Beijing. My reading mate suggested it a couple months ago, and yet, when being in Nanjing for a pre-sales meeting, our sales pre in Shanghai again mentioned this. I picked up the book in the bookstore in the airport, and finished it in one sitting.

The story begins with a middle-age Chinese, Wen, living in Boston, working for an IT company. His typical American middle-class life was challenged by his university friend, Jim, who works in the explosive IT business in Beijing. Is that the final picture of Wen’s career and live? Working in mid management, paying the mortgage and carrying on a non-surprising life in suburb Boston? Wen decided to come back to Beijing, to join Jim’s former company, ICE. Jim left the ICE to join VLC and Jim’s friend Yu took over Jim’s position in ICE. The sales cycle and implementation are very similar to what I am seeing in China.

The subtlety of dealing with a blonde manager who cannot speak a word of Chinese yet wants to get into Chinese market. The power struggle between those Chinese managers (how to bluff the high management outside of China better and win support). How to make yourself look good by eating down rival’s obnoxious attack and decelerate the damage. Also, the dark side of deal making between vendors and the customers. The salesmen work and penetrate the customer’s IT department and figure out how to make a deal with minimum sacrifice.

It is quite enjoyable read. Did I learn tricks out of it?

A Matter of Shaking Legs

Besides clipping nails in public, another habit that I cannot help to hate, that is shaking legs. I cannot figure out what is behind the mind of a person who tips on his/her toes and constantly shakes the leg muscles to create the small movement, up and down, up and down, up and down. The action can be observed in the movie theater, in a pub, or on airplane. As a neighbor to such a person, your seat begins to shake, like a super giant mobile phone is set to the vibration mode.

I think this is a sign of weak mind. This person couldn’t correctly position her/himself with the presence of other, feeling the insecurity, and don’t know where to place her/his limps. Uneasiness, nervousness and uncertainty are felt. Sometimes it happens to people who are excited. However, it is equally unacceptable.

Stop shaking!

The Wisdom of Housewife

My mom has a lot of not-very-glamour yet very practical everyday life tricks. When I was in Taiwan vacationing, I vowed to blind my eyes with the largest quantity of comic books (manga). There is no one to stop me from reading comic books now, regardless what ratings they are. The tricky bit is the comic book rental shop is hidden in the busy market street near the base of our mountain. It is simply impractical to go there by car, motorcycle is defintely a better choice. However, how to carry those books? My mom threw me her ugly shopping basket, which can fit greatly at the footrest between my legs. It is also easy to carry (if using the storage underneath the seat and the tiny basket, I need to distribute the books to those 2 locations, collected them to another bag when I arrive home), Although I look so much like middle age woman in shorts and slippers with the huge grocery basket.

Checking into her lunch bag, she has a small tupperware containing tissue papers. It is easier to retrieve. An old juicer's filter has became her coffee filter. Some of the culinaries in my home were used for more than 30 years. She rarely spent any money in buying sets of cookware or dinnerware, yet we always have meals with matching dishes and good quality rice bowls.

Our duvets and pillows were 100% cotton, enjoyed seasonal sunbathing and re-puffing (we sent them to the duvet shop who can puff up the cotton with some machine). I still couldn't get used to the any other cotton in my pillow.

We don't have expensive furnitures (XiaoHo made various drawing on the sofa anyways, now it is my nephew's turn). But nothing is excessive. The only thing she demanded is storage space.

The Day Market Crashes

Dried Mushroom
Dried Shrimps
Huge Radish

Dicing them up
which takes forever
Fried them in wok

Mixed in threaded

radish in Wok (it also takes ages to do)

Mixed in the rice powder, the chopsticks got heavier
Mixed in the rice
Steam the mushy mixture

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I consider myself a savvy investor, I like to collect financial products from stocks, savings to mutual funds. I also like to spread my investment over different regions and currencies. It is kinda fun to management them with a excel spreadsheet.

Of course, the performance doesn't always go north, I have got stuck with a loser stock for over 4 years (still not getting out). The other failure came just last 2 weeks. With the extraordinarily low transaction fee, I have got myself into positions of some strange mutual funds... Then the market crashes 2 weeks in a row. Neverrtheless, it is better to take risk now than later.

Telemarketer

I was getting a phone call from a Telemarketer, she said "Execuse me, Miss, I need half minute of your time. Which is more important for Beijing Olympic game in your opinion, traffic improvement or the people's politeness?". I replied "Sorry, I am really busy..." Then she hang up on me without a word.

Career Advancement

The new professional service group director came to Beijing to give us a talk, and drawed the rosy picture of how our career will grow within this company according to his planing. More trainings in both technical and soft skills. I do agree with him that the soft skills are far more important than the techincal ones. Such as how well a consultant can effectively communicate and negotiate with the clients while look professional.

However, I am quite curious how these soft kills are be trained? It has a lot to do with the consultant's personality, good consultants simply grow by trial and error.

Coming back to Beijing

I am back to Beijing for a couple of weeks, to finish off my work for the Beijing client and submit my resignation. I am still not feeling easy when walking on the street between the hotel and the office. The hotel is great (actually, the best among all hotels I've stayed over my crazy traveling for the past year) but the breakfast room service staff is just still not up to the standard. They greet you without looking into your eyes, and the gesture of showing where you seat is simply not sincere (as if they are annoyed that you have come to the breakfast and bring them enomous trouble). Is it so hard to train the wait staff to be polite, earnest yet not showing the flattering face?

Swimming Pool

Carol, Mankit and my newborn nephew. Visiting baby in the after-birth care center is very boring. The baby only eats, sleep and poo. I got bored all the time and needed to go out for fresh air (and foods) everytime I went.

The after-birth care center is something very special in Taiwan. The newborn and mom would spend a month or so in the hotel-like facility. There are nurses and doctor to help caring for the baby and teaching the mom how to breastfeed and bath the baby. In Chinese tradition, it is very important to care for the new mom very well (if the husband's family doesn't do it, the wife's family will complain for the rest of their life). She is not allowed to wash her hair or shower (fear of contracting cold). She has to eat a lot of super nutritious foods so to recover well and produce milk. Staying in the center is a way of giving grand parents' a break.

However, you see more blue blankets in the baby rooms and less pink. I was told that those moms who have given birth to boys have better chance to stay in the expensive after-birth care center.

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I started my daily swimming routine last week. My chronic allergy has been showing sights of improving. The eczema is also getting better (the trick is to wash my face carefully and apply small quantity of steroid cream when spotting early sign of eczema attack. The deadly cream effectively stops the spread). Besides, I need to get trained for my long swim in the Sun-Moon lake at end of September.

Going back to my home in Lotus Hill, there is a pretty nice gym in the center of the complex. I signed up for a one-month membership and started my 1000 meter daily swim. It was really painful the first few days. My arm muscles were sore and I needed to apply muscle pain relief patches. However, it is nice type of pain and soreness. How much I miss swimming.

I guess my stamina and style was pretty good when swimming, I scared away people sharing the lane with me. The guy swimming in the next lane started chatting with me. We briefly introduced ourselves to each other and I found that he has worked or studied in most of the countries I ever stayed before. Very interesting, so I asked if he would like to have a drink or coffee sometimes. He only seemed too eager to agree. He left me his phone number yet I only gave out my MSN contact. I figured the guy should not be dangerous since people living in Lotus Hill are generally quite well-educated and decent.

The following few days I didn’t have a chance to get on line, so I text messaged the guy on Friday to see if he would like to come out for a drink after my dinner with Peggy. Peggy didn’t want to come to the drink, so I met with the guy alone in the most busy and trendy district in Taipei. We chatted and I found that he is teaching in some university and he is in his 40s. Although he English is very broken, I didn’t place a doubt of the authenticity of his stories (Master degree in Belgium and PhD degree in Manchester). He then proposed that we go to another pub in the same area. However, the pub was blaring the eardrum hurting music. I think I know some better place, which suits my age better.

My small pub in a quite street features various single-malt whisky, I felt so much at home. The bartender pays much attention to shave up the crystal clear ice which almost smugly fit into a good quality whisky glass. The ambiance is quiet and mature, relaxing. How much I love good single-malt whisky. The guy obviously has no idea what he is drinking (what a waste for someone who’s lived in UK), and to make the matter worse, I think he is getting drunk because he started to say I look very sexy and put his dirty hands around my shoulder and waist.

I was really shocked and embarrassed, pushing him away and the persistent dirty hands came around again and again. Even the bartender felt my uneasiness, kept staring at the guy and eyed me if I need help. This is really beyond my comprehension and I had no idea how I should react. I politely pushed the beast’s hand away, drank up and walked out the door. He followed me out of the pub. I was getting into a cab and I let him get in the cab, thinking since we all live in the same area, it is not too much trouble to give him a ride (stupid me, I should just jump in and shut the door, someone please tell me why I was so brainless? That must be the damn alcohol).

I had no courage to go swimming in the gym the next few days. Even going breakfast to the little coffee shop requires camouflage (I put on my eye glasses with messy hair). At the same time, my mobile phone was bombarded by non-stop phone calls and text message. I feel very sick. Perhaps I should learn how not to be nice. I was invited to dine and drink with strangers many times yet none of those ended up like this. I am really too naïve like Grace suggested?
My mom volunteered to pick up the phone calls for me, and my brother thinks he should send Ilan to bite his balls off. Ilan will certainly do the job very well. I miss Ilan.

Good Bye Tokyo Office

Deciding to leave my current company, I guess I would not return to Tokyo office, therefore, I organized a going-away drink for myself when I was in Tokyo. I worked in Tokyo office almost every other 2 weeks since last November, Tokyo office staff seem closer to me then Beijing office staff. We had lunch/dinner together almost all the time (maybe this has a lot to do with the abundance of choices of restaurants in Tokyo). We drink, talk about politics, office gossips, Japanese culture. I traveled with the office to hot spring and Nikko.

My going away drink was in the outdoor beer garden, the weather was hot and humid. Almost all people in the office came. The conversation topic was about principle and money making. If your action is not morally correct, but that could bring financial benefit, would you do it? People gave different answer, but most people questioned the ruler to measure correctness. We then went to a small Italian restaurant, sample almost every bottle of wine the restaurant possesses.
It is very sad that I will stop working with those nice people. I haven’t felt that way for a very long time.

First Day in School

XiaoHo finally started to go to school. In fact, he was supposed to go to kindergarten after Chinese New Year. However, Grace and XiaoHo kept sleeping in and missed the school bus every morning, they postponed the first school day again and again. (They were just hanging out in bed, talking nonsense until lunch time… Gee…). The first week was chaotic, XiaoHo begged not to be sent to school. When Grace drove close to the kindergarten, XiaoHo pleaded “Mom, please just drive pass the entrance.”.

Gradually, XiaoHo accepted the fact that no matter now much he pleads and cries, nothing is going to change. Actually, Grace was crying at home as well. There is no more excuse to lay in bed until lunch time.

XiaoHo seems enjoying school quite well now. One day when he walked into the classroom with Grace and saw the new kids coming in screaming and kicking. He turned around to Grace and said with determination “Mommy, you can go now.”

Life in kindergarten is military. The teacher instructs those 3 years old to queue up for everything, going in/getting out the classroom, drinking water, going pee, etc. Grace came to pick up XiaoHo and, can hardly control her emotion in seeing XiaoHo after 6 hours of separation, she gave XiaoHo a big and long hug. When she opened her eyes, she found out there is a queue after XiaoHo. She then had to hug the whole class one by one.

Does this look familiar for All Japanese Visitors?

First Gate

Second Gate

The grand finale...

Mom's Email

Pretty flowers in the forest near Nikko
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I like to read my mom's email. She scribbles strokes on the hand writing recognition pad and picks correct Chinese characters one after another (She doesn't know spelling and tone labels, 4 years of schooling in Hong Kong back in the old time didn't have those). Her writing style is yet classic and elegant. She doesn't read much. With limited education, I always wonder where she's got it from. Perhaps that has something to do with her love of Cantonese opera. Her wordings were minimal and classic. Some every-day langague is nicely blended in. Here is her letter to me today (sorry for those who cannot read Chinese)
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阿坤：是否 3 号返台。廖金猪除了耳朶像廖文傑，其他臉旦極像你小時模樣，很可愛啊！名字可能採用廖宥權，文傑花多天時日來研究生辰八字筆劃等，佷煩及無聊的新爸。媽等你回函，會接你機。 媽媽
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Akihabara

In the maid cafe, the young girl dressed in victoria maid dress is feeding a guy spagetti. The guy is looking very contained, having conversation with the maid (I cannot see how the maid carries out the talk, I only see her back). I cannot help but think what is going to happen to the cute girl when she grows to an age that she can no longer work at this role. She might get married and raise kids for a man. What is going to happen to the Otaku (geek, nerd in Japanese)? He is probably still hanging around in the maid's cafe in Akihabara in 10 years.

Officially Leaving Beijing

I finally see the panda in real life, but in Tokyo.
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I packed up my two suitcases. In one, I have my favorite duvet, pure cottern pillow and summer blanket. I shipped it to Canton province where Uncle Thomas' factory is (to avoid the tedious custom clearance, after all, GuangChou is only one hour train ride away from Hong Kong). The other has the clothes, shoes and all my kitchenware from my collage years, which I gave to the girl from the dry cleaner downstair. After getting the deposit back, I carried one roller with my summer clothes and everyday-must-have items to the airport. I left Beijing for good.

My feelings toward Beijing is complicated. I have read so much about the city, about the foods, about the culture and the people. The language to me is not foreign, only sounds different. I have met many modest, polite, hardworking people. However, I feel tensed and uneasy constantly.

I get very paranoid about washing my hands, even when I am in my own apartment. Of course, people on the street spit around makes me nervous. I am very weary about any physical contact with my fellow passengers in the train, taxi drivers or waitrons. The dirt-filled air quality certainly doesn't help. No matter how often I clean, I still feel the stench and dirt all over my living space. I don't have the obssessive compulsary disorder, but I am developing it.

I dislike the newspaper although I am OK with simplified Chinese (still eyesore to me, seeing them like seeing a person without an arm or leg, sympahty and sadness follows). The news only reports great stories, what annoys me the most is that people read them. The ambience is suffocating, I think the only open air space is how to get rich soon. The only good thing is it is so cheap to buy books. However, the Chinese comtemporary writers don't have much interesting things to write about. They seem unable to get out of great culture revolution. Novels that set in the modern China are not entertaining. Perhaps I just cannot fit myself into the stories (the characters seem unrealistic), just like how I cannot fit into the modern Beijing life.

Strolling down the pub streets, pubs are filled with low quality alcohol (beer rarely chilled enough) and mediocre singers. The music are so loud that my ear drums hurt. Where is the innovative thinking? Pubs should cater different stages of life, we only see the simple version of it. Of course, pubs are not the originated from Beijing. This is just one of Beijing's attempts to be cool. However, this attempt has no root in Beijing culture. Defintiely lost.

I believe Beijing can do better given some time, it is not yet finding the right balance between old Beijing and modern Beijing, between old residents and immigrants, between communism and capitalism, between Chinese and Western. My general feeling is that Beijing at this stage is lacking the cultural confidence. Beijing is ashame of the old flat housing (hu-tong), in fact, I think Beijing's charm lies in them. But without the confidence, they are destroyed, flattened, in the name of modernisation... It will really take time before Beijing is inhabitable.

Reading Lolita in Tehran

Azar Nafisi is an English literature professor living in Tehran. Iranian government was (is still now?) so Islamic extreme totalitarian. Dissendents were arrested and executed without obvious reasons, women were abused perhaps because they are the easiest target to abuse, in the name of God. Women can be stoned to death if she is suspected to commit adultry. Women cannot sit in the certain part of the coffee shop without a male companion. A man can married a woman for 10 minutes then divoice her (prositution mutant?). Women have to dress like a walking gabbage bag otherwise men would be aroused.

The legal reading material is from the Iranian religion leader, who explains various enquiries regarding religious legitimate issues. One question raised is "if a man have sex with a chicken, is the chicken can be consumed as food later?". The reply goes "You are forbidden to consume your own chicken, but you can consume your neighbor's".

Isn't religion trying to provide the stability over human's fear about uncertainties? It is beyound me how it provides extremists a tool to create fear. I am only glad this monothesim has not been implemented across all the globe.

Integrity and Survival

I always know that my father has a rather loose sense of rightness. I guess because of his background, he tends to believe it doesn't hurt anyone to tell a lie, default on debt or bribe the kid/government officials. I used to think that is very naughty and interesting. After all, this is not very traditional way a father sets examples for his children. And I feel cool, I have been lucky that I don't need to do those in my life to achieve something so far. Yet that gives me an alternative, an option to think out of the box in an evil way.

His intentions are good and trivial, such as to avoid paying the traffic law violation fine or stopped XiaoHo from crying (because XoxoHo wouldn't let YeeYee have his toy, my father intervened and promised XiaoHo a brand new toy). My dad was generous in giving money away to his relatives, perhaps he is expecting others should also do the same to him. Nevertheless, I was terrified by the thought that we are in debt but it doesn't bother my father at all.

On the contrary, my mother is always educating us (stress training for girls) to be fair and square. Especially money-related matters. She grew up poor, experienced cold treatment in her childhood. I remember she told us never to sit at someone's desk in the office. If something is missing, the person seemed at the desk would be the first suspect.

I am trying my best to be fair and squre, of course, the force from dark side makes me tipsy sometimes. Observing my father, I come to realise integrity is an ultimate survival skill, yet the easiest to carry out. Perhaps people from war time, the most twisted, ugly history of human beings would think otherwise.

Donna's Wedding (2)

My friend insisted that I should disguise her identity.

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Stanley and Donna obviously didn't mind playing the games like that, they were also having great fun, while everyone is entertained. Emily, Irene and I were chatting and drinking in the nice quiet room, completely a separately world. More people are coming into the room, more alcohol and Stanley had to come in to the toilet in the room to puke. Donna came in and dragged Stanley out to greet more guests. She sat down and started to tear. She is under a lot of pressure because her business was obnoxiously underminded by her father's long term partner. He filed lawsuit against her company and factory and obviously bought his way through the Chinese legal system. Donna was almost arrested by the China policemen. She spent a whole day being interrogated by the police before coming back to Taiwan for her own wedding. After crying for a while, we dried her face and she went out to greet more guests and down more alcohol. This is the most crazy wedding I have ever attended. Of course, Donna is quite special.

It is already 2 am in the morning, Irene is the destinated driver (thus, didn't drink any alcohol) had spent the whole day accompanying Donna. It is too challenging for her to drive us home then go to her own place, so she decided to lodge in one of the most famous love hotel in Taipei. 3 young ladies checked into the love hotel, and we were all so exhausted that we didn't spend time to explore anything before crashing into bed. I was trapped in the middle and it is not the best position in bed because you cannot adjust the blanket without affecting the other two girls at each side. Nevertheless, we were all too tired.

Only in the morning we realised the door to the bathroom is transparent, a couple of condoms near the bed lamp. Also a very sinister-looking massage chair. Oh well, you can pretty much guess what are every parts for just looking at it. We then press every button and had great laugh. The Sunday morning in the love hotel!

XiaoHo is Needy

XiaoHo turned very needy recently, the book says that the 3 years old start to realise what is lonely and often fight hard to assert his/her right. Today is his first day to school, Grace was heart broken. The conversation goes like:

XiaoHo: You gave birth to me, you have the responsbility to keep me accompany.
Grace: But what if Mom needs to go to work?
XiaoHo: You can take me with you, like what you did before I was born (Grace told XiaoHo she used to go to work while he is in her tummy).

Donna's Wedding (1)

I felt that I almost become the professional bridesmaid. Anyhow, I sneaked a weekend back to Taipei to attend Donna's wedding. I arrived on 2 am in the morning on Saturday, hung out with my mom a bit then went straight to the hotel where the banquet takes place. Irene and Emily were already in the hotel room with Donna, they were busy putting up make up and told me to go change. I didn't have dress so I just picked some long dress which I bought 12 years ago. Irene and Emily's faces sank, asking if you have anything else. Oh well, Emily said "don't worry, let's fix your face first". While she was putting on makeup on me, Irene brought back a bag and threw me a dress with matching necklace and handbag. She has no confidence in me and had prepared for the worse. But I had to borrow the nude bras from Emily, who had to go without. (Nude bras are really cool, two piece of soft plastic that could firmly stick to the breasts, you then have to buckle the middle to create the cleavage, yay!).

Anyhow, that was a good laugh for the bride, Irene and Emily. Donna comes from a wealthy family, herself is also very capable. Two master degrees from Boston university, running a couple of companies in ShangHai and ShengYang while being a lecturer in Taipei Technology Univerisity. I really don't know how she manages her time but she's doing just fine.

The dinner is uneventful, the foods are good, the service is great. The real party started in the hotel room after the banquet. We went back to the room and help Donna to undress (and collect her expensive necklaces, bracelets and earings). The reason we had to do it is because 1. Donna has got very drunk because she basically drank her way through each table with real alcohol. PS1. With around 50 tables, I think she had had at least 4 bottles of wine in her. PS2 2. She has put on all really expensive diamonds, one of her bracelets dropped a couple of time PS3. She is a real drinker as usual, the air got hot and noisy outside. She changed into the brilliant red dress and walked steadily for another round of alcohol drinking in the suite, where Donna's high school classmates with their hudsband were around. Peggy (We knew Donna via Peggy), Donna and couple of other girls were all making loud noise and device naughty games to play on Donna and her husband Stanley.

Emily, Irene and I don't know the crowd outside very much, so we folded away the heavy bride's dresses, make room for ourselves then started to play the "Photo-Me". Hey, why not? We dress and make up so nicely, let's take pictures for each other! Emily was really out of line, she instructed us to narrow our eyes, or curl our lips. She was like, like, the Adult Video director. But we had a lot of fun. She said she is going to post the picture on the internet with a black stripe cross over our eyes. Ha ha ha ha ha...

I went out to the happily noisyliving room. They are playing another game. They blindfolded Stanley, told him to carry a bottle of water between his legs and made him stand at the far end of the living room. And Donna was sitting in the couch carrying a glass between her leg. She had to command Stanley to go over all obstacles in the living room to her and sqreeze the water out of the bottle to the glass between her leg, of course, no hands. One condition is that Donna has to give her commands in sexy tone. Oh well, they all seem to have great fun.

After getting a bottle of Champaign and a 2 glasses, I withdrew to the room.

PS1. Most banquet places would substitute grade juice for wine for the newly wed when the newly wed go around the banquet hall to drink with each table

PS2. Donna is not an ordinary woman. She drank her share and she drank with her friends. Stanley went to drink with his friends. This is very unusual, most couple visit tables together.

PS3. Another Taiwanese wedding custom, the bride needs to put on every piece of expense jewelry to show off.

One intereting marriage custom

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Another very interesting custom in Taiwanese (maybe Chinese) wedding, at the engagement ceremony, the bride eats the dried dimocarpus longan fruit (it is a kind of fruit shown in the picture, the interior is very similar to eyes because the meat is transparent and the seed is black). The idea is that after the bride eats the longan fruits, which symbolise the groom's eyes. He will not lay his eyesight on other women. Yet I have heard the groom tends to lose the ability to read maps.

Malay Culture

Having lunch with the client from the bank in Kuala Lumpur, where most of the employees are Malay. Hajib covered, the women are actually in power in the bank. The risk officier is a male, he took all of us out for lunch to celebrate closing down the Risk Office issues. One of the young ladies was my favorite, she works hard and is very keen to learn. She is going to get married next year, I was so curious how muslin couple get to know each other and fall in love.

She was rather shy, I asked how you met your future husband? "In school", "Damn, I need to go back to school. What do you do when dating, going to movies and dinning?", "Yes". Oh, I guess school is really good for meeting people. The risk officer objected "You can still meet people at work". "But non of them are available". He winked at me, "Not in Malaysia, men can marry 4 wives under islamic law". Wow, but I guess it is very hard to do because the religion says that only if the man can love the 4 women equally and provide for them.

Also, in Malay culture, the parents don't wish to live with their oldest son. That is so interesting. The elders live with their youngest daughters. Of course she can get married, but the husband moves in to live with her. She continues taking care of her parents. I think, this arrangement is excellent. Men tend to have less issues with mother in law, they are happy as long as they are fed properly. I am not sure if what happens if the oldest son falls in love with the youngest daughter from another family.

My Mom's Hong Kong Escape

Brown hair me, I have a big acne on my forehead. I am staying in Impiana KLCC, my favorite hotel in Kuala Lumpur. It is resonably priced, no nonsense business hotel with modern, clean-cut decor. The most important of all, the free in-room internet access. I am clumsy when giving tips (never am able to figure out what is the proper time and proper amount to give), thus, I don't tip at all. I think the hotel bell boys know me by now, they simply ignore me when checking in or out.
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My mom went to Hong Kong to attend her cousin's daughter's wedding. Her stay was extended because of some financial matters. Her friends were either working during the day or going out of town. She was so bored that she literally shopped her way around on her own.

She bought the Buzz Light Year bedsheet for XiaoHo (he is crazy about Buzz Light Year, He would even shout "To Infinity and Beyound" then jump off the sofa). She bought coffee maker for my uncle's flat although my uncle doesn't drink coffee at all. She bought several kilo of dried sea cucumber and scallops for her friends. She even bought a brand new suitcase to bring back her collection.

She was so delighted to have me around. But when we ran out of gossips and were too full to eat any more foods, she thought about one of her great finds in the shopping mall near by. She found a young lady in the travel agent company in the mall who looks, she claims, exactly like auntie Feng (Jennifer and Sandy's mom) when she was young. We were strolling outside of the travel agent company, figuring out the best execuse to have a converation with the lady.

Two of us were like stalkers, peeping through the glass wall trying to find the young lady. "There she is, the one sitting next to the wall". I showed my agreement and thought, Gee, we were really too bored.

XiaoHo's Joking Talent

XiaoHo has the very ability to crack us up. A few months ago, we were eating dinner together and XiaoHo suddenly made a remark "Benny So-and-So stepped onto dog shit in the playground". We were all surprised because no one seems to know who this Benny Boy is. XiaoHo continued "But he didn't wear shoes".

Everything can go Blastic and Gone the Next Second

I was very upset by the news that my friend has been diagnosed Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia a couple of weeks ago and very ill. Young (a year or 2 younger than I) and energetic, we used to play basketball in the parking lot when working in Mountain View together (cannot jump very high though). American Born Chinese, bright teeth and shy smile. He was an obssessive gym goer, we used to make fun of his muscles. He later moved to London and has been trapped since

I think it is the abruptness that strikes me hard. We all know that unexpected happens in life and we are educated to accept it. But it is another story when it does happen. I was so upset and talked to a colleague. He said, his high school mate, the star of local basketball team, was attacked by A.L.L. From diagnosis to burial, one month. Thanks for the information!

I don't know what I can do to help, that depresses me.

Middle-Class Japan

Reading a blog which describes the taxi drivers in Taipei now mostly are polite and well-educated. This worries the blogger, only during the recession, over qualified taxi drivers are seen. When in Taiwan in May, I was shocked to learn the news that south Korea passed the legislation to allow Taiwanese earning Korean Wan. Is Taiwan going to be another philippine, which the most famous export is its labour?

Tokyo taxi drivers are usually in their 50s, dressed in suits and maticulously white gloves. Equiped with GPS and automated doors, Tokyo taxi ride experience is only parallable by London black cab (it took London black cab drivers 3 year apprenticeship to acquire a license). They are firece drivers, never let the stereotype Japanese characteristics fool you, they are merciless and roam around town like F1 car racing drivers.

Japan is proud of its large portion of middle class. Middle class is not only limited to the white collar but also includes labourous workers. Artisans are found in every area, from cake baking to kimono making. Farmers or fishmen are especially well taken care of by the government in attempt to secure votes. The living standards is not drasically different between janitors and office workers, who rush to crowded trains every morning, slurp ramen for lunch and go to Izakaya with mates after work. This structure is the anchor of a stable society. However, as a part of this society, individual is less prompted to challenge or change a built-in and ready-made system (too comfortable to feel the need, yeah, something is missing but cannot quite tell what it is).

Japanese middle class need to have certain type of cars, wardrobe, houses and wives. Is it an attempt to be accepted by others so individual can feel secured?

Loose, undisplined and unorganised Taiwan v.s. Rigid, displined and organised Japan

Whenever being a guest in my Japanese friends' house, I am always amazed by the wonderful breakfast. The rice is hot and miso soup is definitely hearty. Together with some pickled veggie or dried fish. The eggs were always cooked in the most presentable shape, just like those plastic sample outside of Japanese restaurants. In Irene's house, the julian-cut potatos and carrots were wrapped inside bacon, pan-fried until crispy. The salad were placed in the nice bows, radish and carrots were thinly slices into one uniform size. The mother in law and Irene were busy in the kitchen when I was sleeping sound upstair!

I felt very embarrassed thinking about my cooking the night before, my cucumber salad were made of roughtly sliced red onion (the thickness varies). Thank God that Irene dealt with the cucumbers. The mazzarella cheese + tomato slices were totally unpresentable (they come out in different shapes and sizes)! Come to think about it, we Taipei kids were rarely raised in a full-time housewife home. Our foods were as not presentable as our mothers' cooking.

Most of my friends' mothers work and most of my friends carried keys to their homes. I was the lucky few exceptions since my home is also my father's factory and company. My mother is the receptionist, factory worker, chef and cleaner. I never carried keys until moving to Canada. Only very few of my friends enjoyed the freshly prepared breakfast, frequently cooked by grand parents. Large portion of us bought breakfast from the street vendors or bakery shops. Our lunch boxes were made of leftovers from dinner the night before.

Is this the reason why Taiwanese are loose and sloppy because the environment we grew up was not refined? The duties of family members were not rigidly defined? In Japanese version of family, the mother manages finance, father earns the bread and kids study. But in Taiwanese version of family, both parents are busy making money, mother is also looking after the finance (but she is also the bread earner, the viewpoints are very different), sometimes the kids cook, clean and take care of the old after school.

A mother is the soul and spirit of a household. She sets the tone of a family and defines direction of kids' education. In Japanese culture, the mother is supposed to devoted herself to her family by cleaning the house, cooking fresh breakfastm creating a neat, clean, perfect environments for future pillars of a society. Yet the concept of women should stay home remains the mainstream thinking.

Nagoya is Famous for its Chicken

Um... I am OK with fish but don't really want to eat them. I prefer watching them.
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I was talking to my colleagues at lunch asking why Japanese would not have more babies, replied there is no enough infrastructure to care for babies. In many East Asian countries that household help is common, women continue working after having kids. Even in US the nursary would take babies as young as 6-month old.

Those mentioned above are not possible in Japanese society. It is unthinkable for a Japanese family to have live-in outsider or kids need to be at least 3 years old to be sent to the daycare center. Japanese housewives (strictly speaking, a wife is also considered an outsider) were forced to stay home to care for the young, the old and clean.

Women were driven out of salary earning world yet there is no one wants to have babies. Who is going to support the old people?

Fugitive and Outlaw

When I was a high school kid, I was reading Zhang Da Chuan (張大春)'s book about the outlaw gang living in the mountain yet close to the city and farm in northen China. Their survival depends on looting the villiage and pass-by travellers. They are originally farmers. But farming cannot meet their end's need becasue of draught or wars or heavy tax. They are fugitives in some ways. I fell in love with those rustic, awkwardly simple, countrified and blunt language and their humurous attitute toward the bitterly harsh condition of life.

(Um... Beijing is somehow like that, but living in the city is another matter). The people were not educated, all they know is to rob or obtain wealth by threatening of violence. The group is bounded together by being honest and fair within a group. They nickname "going to the prison" as "going to school", in which those felons would learn the meaning of life (or a better skill to rob).

Just got another book, 我和我的土匪奶奶, setting in the similar era (from the time Chin dynasty collapsed before communist took over China). A female looter picked up a dying baby in one of her trip outsite their base, the little kid was raised into a leader of the gangsters. It is really too bad that I cannot translate the funny bits and pieces of this book into English. Not only you would have to read Chinese but you would also need to have enough sence of humor to appreciate the beauty of how Chinese survived in such an envrionment.

I did feel sad as I turn a page, "I am one more page closer to the end of the book :-((".

Japanese Client

The regitration hall in Taipei. Irene was as thin as a piece of paper.

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I am in the love hate relationship with my Japanese client in Tokyo. Working in Tokyo is always like taking a vacation. Unlike my other clients, who wants to make sure they are making the most bang of their money. Japanese clients are very relax. With my Malaysia clients, my presence in the project room was maticulously timed. The project manager would pop in the project room from time to time to see if I am slacking (that's rarely the case, they usually throw me more than I can chew). Some even asked for a meeting on daily basis so she can monitor my progress (in her own words, she wants to provide assistance and didn't want me to waste time investigating solution if getting stuck).

Things are so different in Tokyo. They wouldn't want me to attend meetings, my Tokyo colleagues would go to the meeting and come back with clients' requirements. I am basically free to do whatever I want while waiting before a confirmed specification can be signed off (which is never the case, Japanese clients never want to sign off anything).

That is the bad thing about working for Japanese. In Japanese clients' mind, there is never an end to a project, no one dares to declare a projectd is finished. In Japanese term, "Customer is God". We dutifully work out whatever they wish to have. Of course we would like to go extra mile to show our good wills, however, I do feel that we are being too nice and going too far. The side effect of this is usually a lengthy and overly engineered structure. When the consultant has gone or the clients' risk officier has left the position, the system would normally be abandoned.

I was told this is Japanese way, a project definition document is only used as reference. The clients like to put things into our mouth (you or your sales person promised this last time we talked) and, therefore, we have to deliver although it is not included in the contract.

Definitely not a healthy way of running a project (no guarantee to meet the deadline and budgt)yet Japanese clients seem OK to bear the extra cost.

The Matter of Pretty Face

Christine's baby is so cute!

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I have read that one employer once said to the journalist that he likes to hire beautiful people because they are usually much more confident. This brings out a lot of good quality of themselves and the people they work with. Also, performing well in your job doesn't guarantee you a promotion, being likable does.

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I have seen a lot of pretty girls when growing up (XiaoHo is the only pretty boy I have seen so far, something is very wrong with Taiwanese guy). All girls I grew up with had their prettiness. Some had the best skin and long limbs, some had beautiful facial figure and slim body. However luck I have, I have really got nothing to boast about. My teenage era was the dark period of my life. Not particularly good looking in anyway yet I was so atheletic that my bodybuild was never delicate and slim, which was not very marketable among boys. Self-esteem was very low because I've got no secret admirers.

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Anyways, I do agree that pretty people are usually more confident and fun. They are popular and always the teacher's favorite. Some of them are cruel in making fun of less-pretty people. I was too sensitive to be made fun of, so I worked out my way of being popular (by simply being myself, maybe). Some are really beautiful but refused to admit the power brought by their appearance. Some skillfully used it in a way that you don't find it offensive (or being taken advantage of, ha!).

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Somehow I gradually accept the fact that I am not pretty. I think, as you age, the personality charm plays a higher hand. Not becacuse of your appearance deteriorate but your characteristics become more pronounced. It is a real disaster to see uninteresting beautiful women (nevertheless men are always fine with them).

Tough Consultant

I just met the most unhelpful consultant in our organisation. She is in this business for very long time and her principle is never being nice and friendly to client/colleagues. For example, god forbid that I asked her if she knows under what project we should book our time in, she would say "Why you ask me? You should ask the project manager." When clients asked her for help, she would say "I've told you to do it this way, things went wrong because you didn't follow my instruction". She is very tough in never compromising, never giving in to clients pleads or requests. She doesn't care if clients complain about her, the experienced treasury consultant is always in demand. However, she is good in pushing the project forward and meeting the deadline (somehow she pressures clients to sign off), I cannot deny it. She is good at her job.

But working with her is definitely not a pleasant experience. Every time she says no, my anger just climbs one level higher (especially the no was said to my direction).

In fact, she meant good and what she was doing was terribly politically correct. But her delivery is just bloody awful. Do you have to behave like a spider (so everyone wants to smash you) in order to push a project forward?

Something is missing from Irene's Wedding

I forgot to mention a very interesting thing happened in Irene’s engagement lunch banquet. We had 3 tables for relatives and friends. Of course Aoki’s family shared the table with Irene’s family.
Midway through, Aoki, Aoki’s sister and mum left the table quietly without saying any word. I was so entertained but couldn’t quite figure out what’s going on. When they left, everyone else continued eating and chatting, as if nothing has happened. I asked the Taiwanese friends what’s going on, he replied this is the Taiwanese custom in engagement banquet.

He explained further, the groom’s family is taking a big advantage of taking the daughter away from the bride’s family. Also, traditionally the engagement party was funded by the bride’s family. It would be really too much for the groom’s family to finish all the food on the table. Thus, as the symbolic apology, they have quietly leave the table when the fish dish comes (PS1), and leave some red envelops under the tea cup.


PS1. Generally, the banquet dishes starts with some cold cuts, then soup, fried veggies, meat, some sort of strews, fish, noodles/rice and desert.

Christin's Baby and I

Both of us were so scared.

Movie Director

A producer’s job is to put different teams together to work out a shooting plan. What is the job of a movie director? A movie director is a story teller. He/she decides how you are going to understand a story. Depending on his/her mood, Romeo and Juliet's tragedy can be presented as a comedy. That is such an unparallel power, I think this power is even more interesting than the mysterious force (some firmly believe) that draws the evolution plans of human beings (PS1).

I am very impressed with subtle and complex matters a movie director has to consider when creating a scene, a segment of story and orchestra the complete movie. For example, one of the movies she was involved is about the story of the Brothel house in ShangHai in Chin Dynasty (PS2). To re-create the room the girl lived at that time, she said, “What can be seen, can be touched doesn’t tell you the personality of the dweller. But the invisible does”. I start to think what people would make out of me when seeing my empty home in Beijing.

A lot of her works show quite a few ties with Japanese culture (She published her first novel when she was 18 years old. I haven’t been the No. 1 fan of her novels but I read regardless). Nevertheless, one scene she described was in a small village in Hokkaido, where the annual film festival takes place. There is a mamasan who is running her own bar. She was a talent artist and originally wanted to go to the art university in another city when she was young. However, she decided to keep her father accompany and work in a small local firm when her mother passed away.

The mamasan described in early days, old men often brought young men the hostess bar, so the young guys can learn how men interact with women. However, no one is doing it now, the young male generation is weak and unmanly. I cannot help but think, wow, this is really an very important training that a young man should acquire. Without it, most men don’t really know how to treat women right. The rare few who do know the tricks are already spoiled.

PS1. I had lunch with a colleague, in which I started my favorite conversation topic recently, how human being and bacteria evolve together. My colleague then turned a straight face saying if I feel there is a plan for us to become what we are today? I said no, and it doesn’t bother me if the start of life is a complete accident. Can someone tell me why I should be worried?

PS2. The brothel house in ShangHai was patronized by wealthy business men. At that time, people got married really early, so sex is not the real thing they sold but romance. The brothel house was where those wealthy men seeking love. The girls were raised like ladies from good families. Their personalities were not twisted too much that they did have feel for men. The patrons had to work hard to win the ladies heart. They teamed up like a family, where parties were usually thrown in the brothel house. Probably it is very similar to the French nobles’ hangout, the prestigious ladies’ saloon in 18th Century France.

Nail Saloon

Um.. The last time I wore my pearl neckless and ear rings. After dying my hair brown, the elegant assessories strangely fail to do me any good.
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Since I am going to leave for Kuala Lumpur the very next day, I was really anxious to visit the nail saloon as soon as I landed in Beijing. My finger nails have grown too long and the surface is not smooth. Cuticles make the finger nails look filthy, no matter how frequent you wash your hands. I normally don't do any colour, just pure cleaning up and polishing the nail surface with special wax.

The girls in nail saloons are very young and cheerful. They chat with you about trivial matters such as make up, fashion and what type of nail shapes you should have (when they are not trying to sell you another service). This type of human touch is kinda lacking in my daily life.

The saloon I go has a lot of female patrons who work as hostesses (don't raise your eye brow, there are quite a few male customers). They are very interesting to look at while some one is fixing your nails (you cannot even read since both your hands are occupied). I don't see northen Chinese beauties in my working environment, the nail saloon is the perfect place to have a good look of them. They have whiter complexion and taller, excellent skin condition and laugh loudly. You rarely see the southern Chinese women's sensitivity in them. Cool! To the girls, it is normal to spend a couple hundred RMB to have the premium treatment (the average working class make around a couple thousand RMB monthly).

Occassionally some middle age women would turned up as well, could be the mamasan who manages the girls. They often dress very well to their age. But you can tell what type of business they are running just by looking at them. It is very hard to translated into English, but in Chinese we say that they smell of wind and dust. Definitely not the flowers growing up in the green house.

Why is SEX Fun?

What's wrong with sandals with socks? It is very comfy!
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I was reading Jared Diamond's "Why is SEX fun", guess he was doing research on more interesting topics before the prize winning book of "gun, steel and roses", also the "collapse". A couple of very interesting points he has raised in this research (that I remembered). Collapse itself is an very interesting book, Jared has so many facts to state, yet he refused to impose his conclusion on the readers. In a way, it is not as satisfying for an impatient person like me. Why can you not give me a theory, an hypothesis, I can tell you straight away whether I like it or not.

The book is trying to answer the question why Human Beings can make love all year round (also, around the clock), where other mammals only do it once or twice a year. In other words, why is it fun to do? He is trying to explain this from evolution's point of view. Because human females don't make the ovulating detectable, human male would have no idea when is the best time to have sexaul intercourse with the female in order to increase the chance of hitting a jackpot. Thus, those who think sex is fun spread their genes more efficiently. "Sex is fun" is coded in our gene!

The other interesting point is why human females having manopause if our biggest drive to live is to spread our genes. Some would argued that humans nowaday live longer to reach manopause. However, there are animals that can be productive if extending their life span in the controlled environment. The theory is that the most capable gathers were actually those women who live passed the manopause. They bared no responsibility in raising kids yet they were very experienced in where to get food. The grandmom helped her children to raise children, which largely enhance the human survival and decrease the infant mortality rate.

Another point about the looking powerful man hunter in the tribe, he is not actually feeding his family (if relying on his meanger, unstable hunting gain, most of his family is going to starve to death. Never mention that the successful hunter also has to share his pray with the whole villiage in order to secure allies and turn enemies into friends). The main source of foods is coming from women's gathering fruits and wheats. Then you want to ask, why is man to hunt if there is no actual benefit to raise his family? The answer is very simple, he needs to be the big brother of the tride so he can get sex to reproduce himself. I am just wondering why women tend to pay attention to this type of guy? Hunting well yet not able to raise a family? Does that guarantee a super sperm and super human race? I think vanity is also encoded in our genes.

Irene's Wedding (The End)

OK, so the engagement and registration were both done on Thursday. The Friday is supposed to be the easy day, right? Nay! Wrong answer. The banquet is the most complicated time, where both Irene and Aoki are going to be examined by 200 people or more. How seatings are arranged, how guests were entertained, how parents faces are taken care of were all daunting tasks. Of course Irene would have helping hands, but has she organised the event to the expected standard? That explained why Irene didn't sleep nor eat for a week.

The wedding photos were framed and put near the entrance of the banquet hall. There were flowers everywhere. The band was hired to play some nice music, and the master of ceremony introduced everyone walking into the hall (so that guests can be sure that they are in the right place?), the bride's maids and best men walked first to the stage, then Aoki alone, then Irene with her dad. Everyone took turns to give a speech, things like the girl is so nice and well-suit to Aoki's family. The groom has the bright future so he is the best fit to the bride, blah, blah, blah.

I feel all these were done for Irene's parents. I mean, the old generation is too lazy to think of any other way to make a wedding more meaningful. If everyone is doing it that way, we better do it exactly the same way. Of course, the married couple would not think of any other alternative suppose that's the only way to please the parents. A wedding is supposed to be serious yet fun. But not the fun like having a group of noisy drunk Japanese dancing on the stage (Aoki's colleagues, I am sure they are not like this when attending a wedding in Japan) and the band singing pop songs (the loud speakers were blasting so loud that no one can really talk). There were a lot of Irene's father's customers. The master of ceremony had to announce that some Japanese company's president has telegraphed the congrats.

Of course I understand a father's dream is to marry his daughter openly. However, is it really adding any value to his business or Irene's well being? Nevertheless, all the best to my best friend.

(The End)

Trip to HuaLian

Visiting Claire in HuaLian last week. I haven't cooked for almost 4 months, finally got a chance to have the kitchen for my own. I don't like to cook in my parents'. The kitchen is my mom's territory, things have to be done in certain ways. I made steaks with onion and black paper sauce, fried rice noodles (but Claire picked aside the nicely julian-cut veggies). A huge pot of beef stew (so she can eat them after I leave) and pork bone soup with Chinese medicine. How nice, I like to cook for my friends.

It is still so hard to believe that Claire has become a mother, the way she takes care of her son is just like how she deals with any other events in life. She is very confident and methodogical. Once the rythm is caught and routine is set, nothing is difficult to achieve.

大前研一 Ohmae Kenichi

Kevin gave me the Chinese version of Ohmae Kenichi's "The M shaped distribution society". I wasn't really shocked by the problematic Japanese government inefficiency or how budget was determined by the amount spent in previous year. Those crazy stuff were described in "Dogs and Demons". But the way Ohmae analysed wealth distribution demographically draws my attention.

He explains, 65% of the wealth in Japan was controlled by people aged more 65. The old people like the accompany of their young, which breeds the parasite generation. There is nothing really worth fighting for suppose the young can always be supported by their parents. The divoiced daughter with her kids are welcomed home. Wow! I never thought about this living structure, however, it does explains a lot of things. I believe similar changes is happening in Taiwan. The young generations is fighting so hard to earn a meanger wage, barely able to pay for the rent, while 50% of the graduates cannot find entry level job.

At the same time, you have got the multi-million dollar (USD) homes being sold out so quickly in Taipei. There are lots of people vacationing aboard or within Taiwan, what is going on? Is Taiwan going to become another Philippine (Southern Korea approved the importation of Taiwanese labors)? Where has all the wealth gone? What is the young people have to do to regain the control of wealth?

A couple of very interesting points Ohmae raises are regarding Japanese consumer's obsession and prejudice about goods and services. Take mad cow disease for example, there were lower percentage of cows being infected in US compared to Japan. However, US beef was ban completely for a period while consumers were not told of the danger of consuming Japanese beef.

Taiwan made furniture almost took over the whole world market but are not sold to Japan. Because Japan would refuse the whole collection of goods if small inperfection is found. To furniture makers, selling to Japan is too risky. However, US might still buy it off and negotiates a discount. That's why Japanese consumers would not be able to buy anything cheap.

Everything made in Japan is so strongly sought after, that the clam growers have to purchase the clams from North Korea and scattered them into the seaside in Japan. They were harvest after a week, and was shipped to all over Japan labeled as produced in Japan.

Narita Airport

Every time I arrive or depart from Narita Airport, I cannot help but wonder why is there a light rail service connecting 2 terminals, which was merely 200 meters apart. Passengers were forced to spend another 2 or 3 minutes waiting, shovel themselves (and the luggage) in, which takes 1.5 minute, the train journey is about 20 seconds and then disembark the train, which takes another 1.5 minute if you are unlucky.

Supposing using a moving walkway or simply making passenger walk between terminals, it might only take 2.5 minutes? What is the logic to build the expensive 200-meter railway and 2 trains? Is it so that Narita airport can space the people arriving in the immigration control? What if all aircrafts arrive in the main terminal? The expensive light rail just doesn't justify its existence.

Irene's wedding (3)

XiaoHo was doing number 2. Few days ago, he was trying to get YeeYee's toy car. YeeYee was few months yonger and lives next door. XiaoHo was so angry that YeeYee won't give him the car so he gave YeeYee a good slap. We pulled them apart and told XiaoHo he can never hit any one again. Couple days later, we finally pursuade YeeYee to come around to play and promised XiaoHo cannot hit him ever. Everything was so nice, my mom was cooking lunch and I was reading the newspaper while the 2 kids were playing.

Out of blue we heard the door slamming and obviously locked. We then heard YeeYee crying very hard. XiaoHo has locked up himself and YeeYee so he can beat him up without interruption.
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Although we all knew the farewell is not like Irene is not going to see her family forever, Irene and her mom were both crying so hard. However, we were all very amazed that Irene's make up was holding firm. We then went to the hotel, I was instructed to open the car door for Irene, she shall not touch anything before entering Aoki's pseudo home. Those 2 got off the car and the diligent bride's maid had to carry the 6 item presents in a big wooden box following them. I managed not to trip over my gown, so proud of myself.

Finally everything was done, we only need to go to the registration office to finish the official document. Emily and I were the 2 witnesses. While the notary explaining the rights and obligations of the marriage, Emily had to translate it to Japanese for Aoki. The document was amended to indicate the ceremony was conducted in Mandarin and being translated. I guess the notary service has to get it clear so to avoid trouble if Aoki doesn't understand what document he is signing.

(to be continued)

Irene's wedding (2)

Christine, Annie and myself. Hard to believe those two were already mothers to a 6-month old and one year old.

Finally taking the bride's maid dress off. There were 2 red line encarved below my breasts down to my waist, connecting to another red mark around my waist. The dress was so tight, trying hard to squeeze the meat up to my chest, also preventing from falling off.

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The very next day, I woke up together with Irene’s mom. She was very nervous and can only thought of the issue that there will be a lot of people coming to the house, she needs to prepare some breakfast. I accompanied her to the convenient store to get some milk and bread, reassured her that no one will get hungry. I then went up stair to check out Irene. She was dressed in a red traditional Chinese long dress. The make up artist is setting her hair. Very elegant and pretty, more beautiful than most movie stars. Emily came to help me put on my make up. My hair is really helpless, so she gave up. Aoki and his family came as scheduled, Irene, Emily and I had to stay in the room. There was a match-maker who speaks Japanese and Mandarin. He introduced Aoki (and his family) to Irene’s family and Irene’s family to Aoki’s. Then Irene had to come out, holding the tea tray serving tea to Aoki’s mom, sister and niece. Because this is supposed to be the first time Aoki and Irene met, Irene had to behave like she is very shy. After serving tea, Irene had to retrieve to the room, of course, Emily and I came back in with her. Of course, we kept our ears open for any conversation going in the living room.

A lucky woman is also very important role that I had to explain. This middle age lady has to be married with kids, preferably with grand children. It would be even better if her parents in law are still alive. We called this lady a “five complete lady”. She basically has to instruct the bride what to do during the ceremony. The “five-complete” lady is Irene’s aunt. She knocked on the door, indicating Aoki’s family has finished their tea.

After Aoki’s family drank up the tea, Irene came up with the tea tray to kneeling down in front of them to collect the empty tea cup with red envelop in it. This indicates Aoki’s family has accepted Irene as the daughter-in-law to be. Irene then retrieved to the room, waiting for the time to exchange the rings.

The time was calculated according to Irene and Aoki’s date of birth. They have to finish the ring exchange before 9am and Irene has to leave the house, before 9:45am. The ring exchange was done alright, pictures were taken. Irene then retrieved to the room and getting dressed in the western white dress (yes, the one we took back last night). Everything was running according to scheduled then we realized that we have left the white head cover in the hotel room!!! We have got only less than 45 minutes, Irene’s dad has to cover her up with the white head cover at 9:40am and then she has to walk out the door before 9:45!!

Getting the head cover from the hotel room is out of the question, we called the wedding photo company hoping they can send us another one yet it is too early no one answer the phone. The make up artist rang up her students living nearby. Yes, she’s got one heady. She is going to put the head cover on the cab and the cab will come around right away. We were panicking like ants in a wok. What if the head cover couldn’t arrive before 9:30? What can we do? Using a white bedspread instead? Luckily, after 20 minutes nail-biting wait, the taxi arrived with the head cover. The ceremony can go on and Irene can now leave the house now.

Aoki and Irene walked out the door without looking back (that is forbidden). She boarded the car and drop a fan from the car, which symbolized that she has dropped bad habbits behind (leave them to her sisters, ha ha ha). The tradition requires Irene's family's male member (not the dad) to pour a bucket of water while the car drives off. This is to symbolize that a married daughter is like the bucket of water pouring out of door, which can never be collected back. However, nowaday not many Taiwanese people do it since a daughter is always welcomed home, even if she is divoiced with kids.

(to be continued)

Irene's wedding (1)

My micky mouse hair style was done with 2 hair curlers. Irene was drafting her speech while the make up artist fixing her hair. We were in the bathroom in the hotel, ha!

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I was the bride’s maid in Irene’s wedding. Well, Emily was also brides maid but Irene said I was the “accompanied to marriage”. It is the direct translation of a Chinese phrase. This is used to describe all items that are following the bride to the groom’s family, including furniture, cooking wares in the ancient time. Irene made me go to the hair saloon with her and Emily. She doesn’t trust my choice of hair dresser. She then made me go to the beauty parlor, the masseuer spent 30 minutes sanded through my body to remove the dead skin and spend another 2 and half hours massaged my body. This is not the type of relaxing oil massage. She was pushing, squeezing, kneading on my pressure points and lymphatic system. It was so painful that I had to bite into the towel to stop myself from screaming. However, my joins and limbs became amazingly light after the pain subsided.

I then went to meet with Irene in the wedding photo shop. The wedding photo shop in Taiwan extends their business by providing the beautiful bridal gowns for rent (they are used in banquet). My fitting was done in 5 minutes, then Irene’s turn. Irene was losing a lot of weight, she needed to alter her wedding dress again since her waist is smaller. I think she hasn’t been eating or sleeping for a least a week (she is not yet the skeleton like those anorexia). To pursuit perfection, we spent almost 2 hours in the shop waiting for the tailor to finish up and another fitting. We then moved the 3 suit cases with the bridal gowns and bride’s maid’s dresses.

We went back to the hotel Aoki and his family are staying, moving the stacks of Chinese cakes from the car. Those cakes needed to be handed over to Irene’s family tomorrow, we are using the hotel as Aoki’s symbolic home. We again borrowed Grace’s black Mecedeze, with which Aoki will drive to Irene’s house tomorrow. After moving the huge box of Chinese cakes from Irene’s car, painting and sweating in the confided space filled with fume, we realized we only need to transfer the cakes from Irene’s car to Grace’s car, instead of moving them to the hotel room. However, Grace’s car key was left in the hotel room. So I suggested leave the cakes in the parking lot, and asking the valet parking guy to watch it for us. We moved the 2 suit cases (with bridal dresses) and other stuff to the hotel room, which includes a huge wooden box covered with red paper, definitely too many shopping bags that both of us can handle, and the flower buaquet. In the hotel room, we need to arrange the newly purchase items into the red box. The items include shoes, one-piece dress, belt, handbag, stockings and scarf. This is called as 6-item present from groom to bride. Irene also prepared her 6-item present for Aoki. They are going to exchange this during the engagement ceremony tomorrow.

I don’t really remember what was taking us so long, by the time we went to the parking lot, the cardboard box of cakes was gone!! We were running around in the parking lot like mad women, finally some one told us our cakes was moved to upstairs since the valet parking guy was off at 10pm. We called the front desk, they had no idea where the cakes were moved to but they promised to look for it. We waited for about 45 minutes but no answer (I utilized the time by decorating Grace’s car with the ribbons). Out of desperation, we saw a manager-like man coming down the stair well with a notepad on hand, he must be on his checking route for the night. I pointed him to Irene, who immediately ran over, hurriedly explained our situation “Without the cakes, the engagement is off!!” The manager calmed her down by asking what her name is, he then promised us again he is going to look for it personally. We waited for another 30 minutes, thinking about all the possible solutions if the cakes were not found. There is no viable solution, Taiwanese bride’s family weights the cakes more than anything! It resembles the groom’s family’s determination to get a girl into their family. The quantity and quality of cakes are both valued (although Irene ordered the cakes herself). The cakes will then be distributed to relatives and friends at the wedding.

The manager finally came. He’s been running obviously, sweat coming down from his forehead like small streams. The cakes were found, the valet parking guy thinks he is really smart, he moved the cakes to the banquet hall that was reserved for tomorrow night. The manager then transported the huge box of cakes to the parking lot.

After the trauma, we were ready to pick up Emily (who dozed off in front of TV) and drove back to Irene’s house. We arrived around midnight yet we had to wake up at 5:30 to prepare for the engagement ceremony. Without any food and alcohol (I secretly smuggled a bottle of Glenfindich in my bag, hopping to do a small hen’s night party). But I was too tired even to unpack, I fell asleep immediately. Irene, Emily, Irene’s mom and I shared a king size bed, I picked the middle position and it was said that I snored like a pig after 30 seconds.

(To be continued)

There is something about XiaoHo

Grace and my mom taught XiaoHo the difference between girl and boy at very early age. To be honest, I really don’t know how they do it. Nevertheless, XiaoHo knows that women don’t have penis but men do and, obviously, he is a boy.

One day, while XiaoHo was taking a shower, XiaoHo said to Grace that he would like to become a girl. But he was very troubled by the fact that he has a penis. Grace said “Mommy gave it to you, you have to carry it whether you like it or not”.

XiaoHo replied “I want to give it back to you”. Without hesitation, he reached down and tried to detach his penis. The unsuccessful attempt annoyed him so much “But I cannot get it off me”.


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When we traveled to the southern Taiwan, we went pass an old town. Seeing tricycles running on the street, Grace sang the famous Taiwanese Nursery rhyme to XiaoHo

Tricycle runs quickly
Carrying an old lady
Fare is fifty cents only
Paid a new dollar bill crispy
What a strange old lady

XiaoHo asked “Where is the old lady?” Grace replied “If you keep being naughty, I will become an old lady very soon”. XiaoHo paused for a while then said “The tricycle is going to take you away”.

Trip to Kenting

Ur..., I am really working.